Parents of Addicts Community Group
A safe group for Mothers and Fathers of addicts, where we can share feelings, and ask for feedback.
After my 18 year old has been in recovery for over a year - I believe he may be using again. I don't have any "proof" but based on his long absences from home and seeing his Facebook "interests" raises some red flags.
My husband and I are fairly new to this "addiction stuff" compared to others who've been through it for years. We discovered his usage just before he turned 16 - went through a year of hell - and the following year he was working on his recovery. During that time I had a lot more information and a lot more support in getting him back on track. When he was released from probation he was sober and his behavior even improved once he was off of it. He doesn't respond very well to "constraints" and once he had his "freedom" he was actually easier to live with.
When we tried to do the "expectations and consequences" parenting thing - it never really worked and there was a lot of stress so we backed off and he proved to us that he can "manage" for quite a long time until now. Funny - I contacted his former counselor and he asked me if I sat down with him and asked him what he wants to do with his life and to have him agree on what the expectations should be. Sit down? He's seldom home. And when I try and talk to him - it's never a good time.
So - we have a 13 year old in an 18 year old body with nothing but a social life. He just completed his high school diploma (which is great) and recently received a call from a job he applied for. Too busy yesterday to give the guy a call. Friends are more important.
I can't see throwing him out at this point but if we don't do "something" we may be forced to. Whatever "something" is. I've contacted a counselor to help us with this.
How did you manage the time your child went from being a child to a legal "adult" overnight?
My husband and I are fairly new to this "addiction stuff" compared to others who've been through it for years. We discovered his usage just before he turned 16 - went through a year of hell - and the following year he was working on his recovery. During that time I had a lot more information and a lot more support in getting him back on track. When he was released from probation he was sober and his behavior even improved once he was off of it. He doesn't respond very well to "constraints" and once he had his "freedom" he was actually easier to live with.
When we tried to do the "expectations and consequences" parenting thing - it never really worked and there was a lot of stress so we backed off and he proved to us that he can "manage" for quite a long time until now. Funny - I contacted his former counselor and he asked me if I sat down with him and asked him what he wants to do with his life and to have him agree on what the expectations should be. Sit down? He's seldom home. And when I try and talk to him - it's never a good time.
So - we have a 13 year old in an 18 year old body with nothing but a social life. He just completed his high school diploma (which is great) and recently received a call from a job he applied for. Too busy yesterday to give the guy a call. Friends are more important.
I can't see throwing him out at this point but if we don't do "something" we may be forced to. Whatever "something" is. I've contacted a counselor to help us with this.
How did you manage the time your child went from being a child to a legal "adult" overnight?
deleted_user
You know I'm not the one with the answer, I just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you at this time. What is preventing your son from leaving home, now that he is of age, and has graduated?
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