Parents of Addicts Community Group

A safe group for Mothers and Fathers of addicts, where we can share feelings, and ask for feedback.

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Having Doubts

missmaple
missmaple
My son abused alcohol and pot for about 8 months before we put him in treatment. He remains unsure that he is an alcoholic and is making no progress that is meaningful because of it. I have recently come to realize that I, too, have doubts I have not been acknowledging. I have to get it together or I will be no use to him. I remember how horrible his behavior was - how out of control it all was and how he was unrecognizable while he was using. But then I start to wonder what really would happen if he drank again. Would it be the same? This must be why it takes really hitting bottom to get well. If I am doubting after all I went through and all the research and work I have done, it is no wonder he doubts, too.
joemm
joemm
As a mom you're fighting tooth and nail for your son however, you can beg, plead, cry, bribe, hope, pray, wish and dream your son will quit. It his journey and he will take his own path in his own time. In the meanwhile take care of yourself and remember, "These are the good ol days"
We all know what youre going thru. We've been there.
By the way are you sure it was just pot and booze? Sounds like harder stuff to me.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Joe is right. No matter how much we want this we can not do it for them and it will not work until they want it to. I have been going through this with 2 of my sons. It took both a few tries at rehab. , and going to jail to finally get on the right path. I tried to do everything I could but it did not fix or stop anything. They had to decide it was time. I did everything I could to keep them from getting arrested but in the end that was their turning point. They both ended up in great programs and the time was right. Hang in there, things can get better. My oldest son is 3 1/2 years clean and my youngest is 13 months and swears he has never been happier in his life. I know this can change in a minute but for now all is better than I ever thought it could be. I haven't gotten on here much because I don't want to "jinx" anything. But I want you to know there is hope. Take care
missmaple
missmaple
Thank you to both. I have to keep remembering - HE has to do the work, not me. Whatever he says to avoid it doesn't matter. I have to be patient. And I am NOT, unfortunately. So I will just try to behave as though I am.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Joe and Cherrie are right. I can't say it better than they did. My son has been through many rehabs and many jails. Right now he's doing well on his own. I was able to allow him to deal with his own consequences, but I never abandoned him. There is hope, but it is really hard. I still worry about him sometimes and I always will, but I'm proud of him and happy for him. He's actually living a normal life. Since he lost his car during his last relapse he has to walk every place he goes. I hate that for him, but he totally deserves it. Even with that, he's still happy and says he's happier than he's ever been.