Parents of Addicts Community Group

A safe group for Mothers and Fathers of addicts, where we can share feelings, and ask for feedback.

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Dph

Brightsoul
Brightsoul

Hello everyone. I'm new to this group. I'm just overwhelmed right now. My son, 23, is a drug addict. He's done spice and lots of pot and I suspect he's had bouts of heroine and meth use. What seems to be his main addiction though is dph(benedryl). He started using it in his early teens. I had no idea.When he was 21, I got frustrated  and yelled at him after he failed to pay for his car payments that I co signed for for months. I was a single mother of 4 and making $11 an hour at the time and he was about to make us homeless. Not to mention his stealing and angry outbursts. He tried to kill himself with benedryl. I didn't find out for a year when he left to live with his abusive father. He moved back in with me with a girlfriend and the stealing and lies begin again. I supported them for a year while they did not work. When she left he od's on benadryl again. And another stealing binge. Benadryl causes early onset dementia and alot of other things. He can barely keep a job now. The worst part is his abusive father uses him like a weapon against me trying to take my youngest son. I can't trust him. I told him to go to his dad's. We haven't spoken in about 6 months. All I can think about is what a beautiful baby he was and what I could have done differently. I am utterly heart broken.

donna7455
donna7455
I'm so sorry. My son is 27 and a recovering heroin addict. He's been on Suboxone for almost 7 years, but continues smoking pot. I think he's also developing a drinking problem. He's able to work, but is much more comfortable letting other people support him, even as he's off the drugs. When he was on the drugs, he had the same problems as your son. He stole from us, lied constantly, got in trouble with the law and had the same angry outbursts. When he used spice, that was the worst.

Your youngest son should not be exposed to him. It's good that he's not living with you. Right now, your priorities should be to raise your younger son and to take care of yourself. Don't beat yourself up. As they say in Al Anon, you did not cause it and you can't control it.

I've read about Benadryl addiction, and it's truly scary. He's going to need professional help to get off this stuff. It's not helping him to live with either you or your ex. That enables him. What finally worked for me to at least get my son treatment is that I kicked him out and told him that I would only help him if he got a job and got into a treatment program. I would not let him live with me any more. Six years later, he's doing much better, but has found someone else willing to support him. I'm so disappointed that he quit his job and has been sitting around doing nothing for 18 months. But, at least he's no longer my problem and I am able to find peace without his daily drama.
Brightsoul
Brightsoul
Thank you for your response. I'm sorry to hear of your struggles as well. It's the hardest thing, isn't it? I know I'm doing the right thing for my youngest and for myself. Joseph (the 23 year old) is dangerous. I think nearly any drug would have been preferable to Benadryl. The brain damage seems to be permanent from what I've read. He's starting to hear voices but still refuses to get help. Thank you for the advice. I do appreciate it. People have been telling me to stop enabling him for a while. It's so hard to cut those strings but I see how that's the only thing that might force him to confront his problems. I doubt he''ll be welcome at his Dad's for very long. That never lasts.
mom-of-3
mom-of-3
My son is a walking miracle because of my prayers and all the prayers I asked others to pray for him. If you are praying, increase your prayers ten- fold.