Parents of Addicts Community Group
A safe group for Mothers and Fathers of addicts, where we can share feelings, and ask for feedback.
My 37 yo son disclosed to me last Fall that he had relapsed (Cocaine and Alcohol not sure what else). He wouldn't let me tell anyone under threat of cutting me off and creating trouble in our family. He was married in Feb and had not told his wife. She caught him using in their home only a month after the wedding as Coronavirus was kicking in. He traveled to stay in the area I live with one of his sisters. I reached out to the new wife and tried to support her, apologizing for not having warned her myself. I mentioned that she should consut a lawyer about all of her options including anullment as she considers what to do next. Now my son won't speak to me and has caused other members of the family to shut me off for telling her that.
I feel I did the right thing but am questioning it. Need some input.
Thank yuo
There's an old saying that I often hear from families of addicts. It's "you're only as sick as your secrets". Another is that sunshine is the best disinfectant. There's so much truth in this. Don't protect an addict's secrets. That's enabling his behavior and makes it less likely that he'll seek recovery. His reaction to punish you is textbook behavior for an addict.
Good luck to your family.