Your post makes me so sad. My daughter has been an addict since she was 14, but we did not know until she was 20. You are doing well to be in touch and aware of your son's condition. And you are not in denial! That is a huge leap from where most of us start with this heartache.
I'm so glad your son is secure, and hope this will give you some breathing space. It's very wearing being the loved one of an addict, particularly a parent.
Sometimes I think of the addict children as the ones that were born with a handicap, an extra challenge in life. They take all our heart, our work, our funds and our joy. They give very indirectly by teaching us compassion, and unconditional (but tough) love.
Hang in there.
Boieonz
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Lovemyboyz, I am so sorry for the pain you are going thru. And I know the pain also. Welcome to this site/group. (tcheck out Friends and Families of Addicts too) Hope you will find the friendship and support you need to get thru it. I know I have. Will keep you and your son in my thoughts

Thanks to both of you. This site is a help, although I cry every time. (note to self- quit reading at work). I feel the same pain as all of the parents on here and anger at the effects drugs have on our children. Last week while coming down from being high and before he got to rehab my son got angry at my (for the awful sin of enforcing rules) and did the "eff you get out of my life take down all my pictures, etc." rant. I was hurt but also knew it was the drugs talking. Sure enough a few days later when he settled down he apologized and felt terrible and embarassed. He said "I can't imagine my life without a mom. I am so glad you are in my life". It made me cry- mostly becasue I just want to explain that I can't imagine my life without HIM, and yet I find myself thinking that every day.

Hey I know what you mean about the tempoary relief. Been thru it all with my son. It may get worse before it Chapter 1.

I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost…
I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter 2.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I cant believe I am in this same place.
But it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter 3.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in… its a habit.
But, my eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

Chapter 4.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

Chapter 5.

I walk down another street.
ter. Just hang in there and do what you can to take care of yourself.

Chapter 1.

I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost…
I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter 2.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I cant believe I am in this same place.
But it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter 3.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in… its a habit.
But, my eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

Chapter 4.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

Chapter 5.

I walk down another street.



You may not get this now but you will. It goes for addicts as well as parents.

No one should tell you that it's going to be ok. Hopefully, eventually it will be, but it may not ever be. You have to be prepared for that. My son has been using drugs for 10 years, and he's been an addict for about 7 years. I hope one day he'll overcome it permanently. It's a horrible process they all have to go through once that line is crossed.