Parenting With Mental Illness Community Group

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Sons birthday party

radarblip
radarblip

I really felt it yesterday.. I have high anxiety, and depression, I am anti-social, and yesterday was my sons birthday party. he invited 12 friends, and only 1 showed up. to top it off i had invited the neighbour next door and i saw her with her headphones on coming in from a walk, but she didn't come to his party with her kid.. she rather do nothing than his party.. The neighbour accross the streets daughter was supposed to have her bday next weekend and she changed it to be the exact same day as my sons at the exact same time. she over did it on her front lawn with a popcorn machine, kiddy pool, slip n slide, icecream stand, bouncy castle... you get the point. MY kid whos one friend showed up was awkward and wondering if she was gonna be the only kid, which she was.. so we ate out party sized pizza and pop and cake and opened gifts, sang, happy birthday, and then shot rockets onto our roof in the driveway. They all wanted to leave to accross the street because their party looked more fun.. I put over $400 into a birthday party and watched it go to shit. My son still enjoyed it even with his 1 friend but it was more an awkward playdate with a girl he secretly has a crush on.. So ya this can be hard as a parent with deression to see this happen. I cried myself to sleep last night for failing him.

SplitScreen
SplitScreen
I’m so sorry this happened. I’ve got the same introverted personality. I practically go into a major panic attack every year at Birthday time for my sons. Gentle hugs. You’re not alone in feeling what you are feeling. We are doing the best we can as parents with MI. That’s what I have to keep telling myself. And kids are resilient. Please try to be gentle with yourself. You made the best of a difficult situation.
Group FounderSullenKitty
SullenKitty
I'm so sorry.

I feel like I fail my kids every day, but something like this would set me off into overdrive for sure.

You just have to try (I know its next to impossible) to tell yourself that you did everything you could and then some to give your son a great party and some things are outside of your control.

I always end up spoiling my kids after I feel like something has gone wrong for them. I'm not sure what the damage is to their behavior but it makes me feel better. Maybe you could do something special with him again today. Even a day at the park for a picnic. Play a game with him. Or just take him shopping and let him pick something out. Special one on one time.

(Hugs) Hope you're feeling better today.
radarblip
radarblip
He told me he enjoyed his party, and he knows I tried, he then asked me to watch a movie with him and I let him pick. He picked the movie "click" with Adam Sandler because it was a comedy and he said we needed some humour to brighten the day. He said the movie was about not liking the way your life is only to realize you don't need to change a thing and i was very happy with his choice, it was a good movie and we both had lots of laugh. But I still feel terrible that no one showed but that 1 kid.. Thankfully his real birthday is a month away (july 17th) and we will be heading to Niagara falls to load them up with excitement. We booked tickets to practically everything in that town and are gonna let loose and forget about this small town for a bit.
Group FounderSullenKitty
SullenKitty
That sounds absolutely perfect, radar. Let yourself off the hook!
arfie
arfie
Ouch to the max on the party bust, but I'm equally impressed with how gracefully both you and your son managed the injustice. I hope the well-earned cry helped you vent the disappointment enough that you can celebrate the success of coming through like champs.

It's what you do next that counts.
radarblip
radarblip
we will be doing lots next, marine land, clifton hill, waterfall, bird sanctuary, the water park, were maxing out the vacation, and on top of it spending time visiting family out that way and going to the cottage (were coming from New brunswick so it will be a ton of driving..) ROAD TRIP!
Group FounderSullenKitty
SullenKitty
Sounds like a great time, radar. You are most definitely an awesome mom.
radarblip
radarblip
thank you, I needed to hear that more than anything, we just got back in from playing Vortex (football toy) and watched our rockets fly in the air at the park. i hope everyone is having a great first week of schools out for summer!
fireflywing
fireflywing
Sorry that happened with the party. (My son is at an awkward tween age where he decided this year to not have any friends for a party & just family). It sounds like you will have a wonderful trip and you are such a thoughtful and loving Mother. It’s the important things that matter most.
radarblip
radarblip
The worst part is my son is only turning 8...
fireflywing
fireflywing
He may be just turning 8, but he will remember what you put into the party and the planning and how great of a Mom you are.
radarblip
radarblip
I agree, honestly I do it because I want his memories to be wonderful. I'm the youngest of my family (the forgotten one) And I know what its like not to have these wonderful parties. My brothers sweet 16, his 25th, and 30th, my sisters 16 and 18th, 25th, and 30th, and then me, where I didnt get a sweet 16, an 18th, or 25th (not 30 yet..) so I try my hardest to let my kids have the best day of their lives on their birthdays.. What I don't get tho is why people dont even bother to rsvp or say they arent able to make it these days. its kinda a dick move.
FinalAssault
FinalAssault
dont be so hard on yourself! or do you blame yourself for the outcome? or your mental health issues? if your son had a nice time its good. just concentrate on your relationship with him so it remains strong through the teenage years. this is when my breakdown hit and my daughter took advantage of my weakness in health.
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