Parenting 'Tweens (9-12) Support Group
This community is focused on the joys, challenges and concerns faced by parents of tweens (9 to 11 year olds). The major areas of child development include: physical development, perception and sensory development, communication and language development, cognitive development, emotional development and social development.
Hi I'm new to this community and need some help. I posted this on the ADD/ ADHD Community but didn't get any response, so I'm hoping you guys will help.
My 10 year old does not have ADD, my 8 year old has ADHD. But my question is about my 10 year old ( the strong willed child) Does anyone here have one? I've read James Dobsons book to no avail. I have tried all kinds of disapline to no avail. This child is very intellegent, a leader and very very mature for his age...thinks he knows it all and will argue with a fence post! It's his mouth that is driving my husband and I insane! My son is no just argumentative but smart mouthed....and he is only 10. Can you imagine what he is going to be like when he is 13 and up? Seriously need some suggestions cause we are at the end of our rope with him!
My 10 year old does not have ADD, my 8 year old has ADHD. But my question is about my 10 year old ( the strong willed child) Does anyone here have one? I've read James Dobsons book to no avail. I have tried all kinds of disapline to no avail. This child is very intellegent, a leader and very very mature for his age...thinks he knows it all and will argue with a fence post! It's his mouth that is driving my husband and I insane! My son is no just argumentative but smart mouthed....and he is only 10. Can you imagine what he is going to be like when he is 13 and up? Seriously need some suggestions cause we are at the end of our rope with him!
With very specific ways to transition from parenting by discipline to parenting by influence, a necessary step as they move toward the teenage years.
I have also sat my son down and talked to him about the specific problems with have with him and his behavior sometimes. I asked him whether HE had any suggestions on what we could both do to make things run smoother around here. He actually made a few suggestions. He wanted to be warned five minutes before having to finish a computer game to practice piano or come to dinner. We also discussed that we argue more when either of us feels rushed, so we both said we would try to plan ahead better. It was surprizingly useful to try to get him to take some ownership in how we get along as a family. Hope it helps to know you are not alone.
Finding out what they are thinking and letting them have some role in the rule setting works for us. Also, I tell him how I feel when he talks to me that way. Just in a calm way, that I am just trying to get him to come and eat the food I prepared for him, because he said he is hungry, and he is yelling at me, and would he rather I did not prepare the food, or rather eat it cold? I also say that it makes me feel that I should not bother responding when he asks for food, if he is going to behave this way afterwards. He does think about it differently then.
The other is sign him up for martial arts class. Ask around for a recommendation. The style is normally firm but calm. He needs to learn to control himself and not misuse his power.
Good luck, I hope you find a solution.