HI! I have a new role in life as stepmom to a little girl. I love this girl. Oh I love her. But sometimes I am having trouble with my patience. Sometimes she does display negative attention seeking behaviors that are rude and disrepectful in the way of just bad manners. But, when I read other peoples posts of their tweens, I realize maybe she is really awesome. She would never yell that she hated a parent, or use cursing in reference to an elder. Her rudeness is just: dictating where the adults sit, what we can talk about, she talks over others, and demands things...but her heart is wonderful and she has a beautiful soul. I think she is just not educated on manners, and has never really been diciplined on it. I also think that: I am 40. My natural children are 21 and 16. I have different parenting tactics. So naturally there is a rift. I am older and not quite use to a sassy girl. My kids were both well mannered boys that were brought up with strict rules on what behavior is allowed and my ex-husband and I were pretty hard on that issue. My new stepkids have this new age way of being brought up where they don't really have structure or routine, or basic known house rules.  But my issue is that when my new man doesn't take up for me or dicipline his daughter, it reinforces the behavior, and every other month I end up in tears of frustration. So, I guess I need guidance. Maybe just knowing others who have a girl in their family this age. It would be great to learn the developmental state to expect her to be in, so when she acts too sassy or annoying, I can rationalize in my head, "Oh its the age. This is normal. Chill!" I feel guilty when in my mind, I complain and get upset. I try not to make a huge deal of it,but I want my second marriage to be successful. So any tips on tweens, or even reading others posts about it is so helpful. Thanks