Parenting 'Tweens (9-12) Support Group
This community is focused on the joys, challenges and concerns faced by parents of tweens (9 to 11 year olds). The major areas of child development include: physical development, perception and sensory development, communication and language development, cognitive development, emotional development and social development.
WOW, tweens!!!!!!! I am the mother of 2. My son is will be 28 in Feb. and my daughter will be 12 in March. Yes, 16yrs apart. My son has always been a momma's boy so no problems there. But raising my daughter is becoming quite a challenge. Up until about a year ago, she seemed to talk to me about everything, boys, school, friends. Now I ask her a yes or no question and I get silence. I find that my tolerance level has depleted. She sits in her room on the computer, texting on the phone, with either the t.v. on and/or the music blaring in her ears, all at the same time. Now her grades are great, A's and B's. Honor Roll every marking period since 3rd grade. Chores are done everyday when I get home and she helps with dinner, (sometimes). But it is the silent treatment that kills me. I've cut back on the time she can spend on her electronics, but that hasn't helped. She just goes to sleep, while I'm trying to talk with her. Her attitude is horrible, she claims nothing is ever wrong, but it's never right either. She rolls her eyes, stomps her feet as she walks away and sighs constantly like I'm interrupting something. I know she is going thru puberty, but is there any way I can take this trip with her where she doens't feel so alone and confused. I try talking to her, but I'm not sure if she is really hearing me. Any suggestions? I'm I trying too hard? I'm I pushing her away?
My son is almost 11 and he displays a similar attitude on occasion. I know I have to spend some serious one on one with him and we have to laugh and play together to break down those walls. That's when I make it really clear that he must treat everyone in the house with respect. Have a cheerful disposition, show kindness and be all around bearable to live with. We are all entitled to live with others that are not a nuisance or rude.
I found a speaker/therapist that deals with child raising pretty cut and dry...DrRay.com (Dr. Ray Guarendi) he's been around for a while and gave me a shot in the arm for parenting. I think as parents (especially as older parents) we get worn out at times and let them get away with too much, then we have some back tracking to do. Ug. All the best to you.
I don't know if this has any relevance to your situation, but it is one possibility. If even only one time you did not really hear what she was saying, or did something she thinks betrayed her trust, she could close up and it can be a challenge to get that door open again.