This is very difficult, certainly. It might be better to remember that she was not herself, her body was struggling to recover from birth and she may have been overwhelmed by postpartum depression. A very real illness that affects her decisions and thinking. She wasn't able to think clearly while she was affected by it, and it was a great tradgegy. She was ill, it wasn't anything you did. You can hold her in your hearts for as long as you want.

I ALSO AGREE W/ IRONTYKE, I'M REALLY..SORRY ABOUT YOUR LOSS, TRY TO KEEP YOURSELF TOGETHER NOW FOR YOUR OTHER CHILDREN, THEY NEED YOU TOO, I KNOW IT'S HARD, I LOST MY 3 YR. OLD. WRITE JOURNALS HERE ABOUT WHAT YOUR FEELING, SO OTHERS KNOW HOW TO ADDRESS YOUR PAIN, YOU MAY WANT TO KEEP A JOURNAL AT YOU BED SIDE & WRITE TO YOUR DAUGHTER WHEN IT HURTS THE MOST OR EVEN WHEN YOUR SMILING. :)

I'm so, so sorry.

I think that family grief therapy would be a good idea, your children may try to shut themselves off into their own worlds and that is not healthy. You also need to stay healthy to care for your children.

My auntie hanged herself in 2005 and it is the suddenness of it all that hits so hard, her 3 children refused all therapy and are now not able to cope well, my uncle copes as best as he can but the family has fallen apart. My auntie was the glue that kept the whole extended family going. I keep in touch as much as I can, but I at times do not know what to say, I feel that my grief isn't as important - maybe it isn't.

You and your children need to get out how you all feel not lock it away.

This pain must be so intense, you really need to be with other people who can understand and who may have withstood it longer than you have. Are there any support groups nearby?
Here is a link to a page to search for support groups, if it does not come out right, try the home page:
http://www.survivorsofsuicide.com/#
http://www.afsp.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=home.viewpage&page_id=FEE4D90C-A27B-456E-36DDF23261B4378D
Here's another couple of resources:
http://www.suicide.org/suicide-survivors-join-a-suicide-support-group.html
http://www.road2healing.com/
I hope you find a way to go on. I feel for you. It's a good thing that you reached out.

I would strongly recommend the DS support group for bereavment. I lost my father in Aug 07 and the people in that group are wonderful and have a ton of great advice to give. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.