Parenting Toddlers (1-3) Support Group
This community is focused on the joys, challenges and concerns faced by parents of toddlers (1 to 3 year olds). The major areas of child development include: physical development, perception and sensory development, communication and language development, cognitive development, emotional development and social development. Join to share your stories and get advice.
Ok so I potty trained my 3 year old and he took to it so quickly. I was so proud!! Then not a week after he was fine going in by himself. Now, a couple months later he is experimenting. Today he was taking longer than a few minutes in the bathroom. I went in to see what was going on and he had poop all over his fingers. I disciplined him for playing in his poop and sent him off to play. Later on I went in there and there was poop all over the toilet seat. I yelled at him cleaned it off and did my business. As I sat down I saw a cap to my husbands shaving cream sitting on a container next to the bathtub with yellow liquid in it. I thought to myself "oh my god please no" I smelled it to make sure and sure enough it was pee. I looked in a cup we use to bathe him out of curiosity and sure enough, a couple turds were in there. I got so pissed off I yelled, screamed, had to throw the stuff out even the cup. I disciplined him but the biggest problem is I don't know why he's doing it and I don't know what to do to stop him. I really hate to have to accompany him again because it severely interferes with my schoolwork when I have to go with him every hour or so. I really have no idea what to do his father and I are completely at a loss. Please tell me others have had this kind of problem or at least any suggestions? WE ARE LOST!!!
Anyways does anyone have any ideas as to what kind of positive behavior? I figured thats why he is always misbehaving because we ONLY give him attention when he's bad and never when he's good. So the thing is I need to figure out what all to do to reinforce good behavior. I give him candy, let him play in the pool, give him juice. (We cant afford juice all the time its mostly just water thats why its a treat) but we tell him if he's good he'll get this stuff and he is just constantly "i want it Im being good" every second constantly and we have explained to him that bugging us like that is Not being good. You can say your being good all you want it doesn't mean you are. He is a very smart boy he does understand it but sometimes he just gets in these bad moods where he wants what he wants when he wants it and will kill us over it.
It seems he is wanting attention therefore he is acting up because he knows he will get your attention that way...
Is he on a schedule???maybe a flexible one..
I don't know your day or what he does. but set time first that he spend with you. Coloring, reading books, building blocks, playing outside, give him some mommy time, then after have time for him to be creative on his own. then that gives you sometime to get some things done. Try to save your school work for when you can have complete consentration with out your baby feeling left out. maybe nap or after bed or when hubby comes home and can take him outside or just have daddy time.
I praise you for being a mother and going to school that is SO hard and its great you are trying to better yourself for your son.
I wouldn't do the whole..."if you are good you will get a treat or toy". I think children need to learn that this is a behavior that is expected and they should be rewarded for helping out and other non normal things.
yes if he is a great boy one day treat him to something special a day at the park, time to play in the pool but don't have that dangling over his head. Instead after he was good and not being told say.... you were a great boy today and I am so proud of you, for being super good how about we do something special.
I don't think children should be bribed with toys and candy.
Lots of love, hugs, and hey that was good, try to remember when he does something good to tell him, its kind of hard to do that sometimes, you see all the negiative but sometimes you just think they should do all the right things, its nice to be reminded..hey that was great!!
I know I appreciate when my family says that was a good dinner or just a simple Thank you!
It will take some time to change now but you and hubby need to get on the same page and see what can work best for you both.
message me anytime with tips or questions. I would love to share how I handle things or what we do to stay busy....granted I made PLEANTLY of mistakes but I have learned what has worked best and till trying to learn as well.
Keep it up mommy!!!
As far as the yelling goes, sure it doesn't solve anything but sometimes its hard to help but get frustrated. After all it is gross and nasty and why would Anyone want to clean it up. Someday it will be funny but right now its a stress. There are times when I find myself wanting to yell at my kids too and when sometimes I do I always go back to them after I calm down and explain that I still love them but the behavior upset me and why it was wrong. I'm not perfect and although the others have a point about trying to step back from the situation and handle it calmly, sometimes its hard especially when the stresses get to much. Just do your best and somehow it'll work out eventually.
I used to get books for them from the library because they were free. We sat together or on my lap and read a LOT. It was a bonding time, broadened their horizons and gave them my undivided attention.
Praise him often for the smallest things. Tell him how cute he is, how good he's doing with ANYTHING; not matter how small. Give him blocks to play with if he has no other toys because he can use his imagination to build whatever he wants,but sit down with him first and teach him how to stack them. He wants and needs attention from you. If you give him attention before he's begging for it, that will make a difference too.
Maybe you can sit down in the floor near him and tell him he can build or look at books or whatever while you do some of your schoolwork. You can even read out loud what you're studying. I used to nurse my babies and read out loud about their development so I'd be prepared for whatever they were going through.
Yelling is ineffective. It shows him that when you're not yelling, you really don't mean it yet. It makes him feel ashamed that he's learned how to do something on his own.
Don't feel bad. You didn't know. I had a great support group of moms when I had litte ones. Then, I also took early childhood developmental courses at my local university when I opened a daycare.
We're here to help; not criticize you. Hang in there and give us a shout if you need more advice. Just try not to yell at him. :-)
hugs to you as raising little ones is emotionally and physically exhausting.