Parenting Toddlers (1-3) Support Group
This community is focused on the joys, challenges and concerns faced by parents of toddlers (1 to 3 year olds). The major areas of child development include: physical development, perception and sensory development, communication and language development, cognitive development, emotional development and social development. Join to share your stories and get advice.
Hi parents. I feel like a bad mother. My oldest child is 3 and is constantly getting in trouble, to the point at times I think it's over the top. Not that he's being beaten but that he just gets smacked for the same thing so often that I feel like something isn't right. I am aware that he wants attention and quite honestly he deserves attention and fun but I also feel guilty because I don't have the energy or motivation to constantly run around with him. I hate seeing sad or blank looks on his face just because he wants someone to play with him but no one is. I was taking him to a shopping mall to play at the playground there with other kids after taking him out of daycare due to money but we've since moved an hour out of town where there are no children his age and I don't know anyone. I start back at work full time next week and I won't see either of my boys (my second and youngest isn't even a year old) for almost over 12 hrs of the day due to having to leave by 4:30am and I don't finish till 4:30pm so we won't be home till 5:30 at the earliest. I feel as though this much time without his mum and dad would be worse for his attitude and attention needs since he will be staying with his mama (my mother in law) and his little brother all day as company. We're on a hobby farm so my mother in law also has animals to look after as well, these my son loves but he chases and scares them (the chickens and sheep) regardless of us telling him not to getting smacks and even trying to reason and talk to him about it. So while mama would love for it to be a nice experience for him she is unfortunately had her work load doubled not to mention needing to push a cheap stroller around on a hillside and yeah not a easy task.
I really don't know what I'm looking for by sharing this but I'm over not being able to express myself with the farther and in laws without a fight starting because they refuse to listen to my words and would rather hear what they want or take it too far. I dunno just stressing about going back to work since they require on call etc too. Just don't know what to do or say or think. I can't even really talk to my family about it because they either haven't had kids or were able to work hours that suited them till their kids got older or were single parents that got everything handed to them. I sometimes just want to take my boys and run so far away that we dissapear. I look like a drug addict due to the hives I've been scratching to the point of bleeding and sores that I laugh off because it's so hard to talk about it.
sorry I think this went from needing advice about my three year old to my anxiety. Sorry about that... thanks for reading though
Recently, I came to be in a fairly similar situation being away from my little ones for the majority of the day. It used to be just the 8 hours that I went to work, but with the first major snowstorm of the year, my car broke down (the brakes broke)(which on a side note to my other journal entries) people at work all expect me to have it fixed right away, but being on a budget doesn't really allow me to spend the money to fix my car right now. But ummm enough venting back to the reason that I brought it up. So my normal work hours are from 7:15-3:15. I used to leave my house at about 6:45. Since my car broke, I have to leave my house an hour earlier in the mornings, and then I don't get home for another almost two hours, and that is with a ride in the mornings. If I don't have a ride, I will have to be late to work, by an hour and 45 minutes, which then means that I have to stay late. So this means leaving my house at 5:30, not getting to work until 8:30, working 8 hours, leave at 4:30 and not get home until between 6:30 and 7. As long as I maintain a ride it will be decent, no ride would worse.
I know it is not the worst thing in the world. It just makes it harder. Also, your not a bad mom just because you are tired or stressed out (or at all). Try not to get mad at your son, just remember he wants more than what he is getting right now, so just spend a bit of special time with just him. Remind him that you love him even though you aren't always there.
Remember it is okay to not know what is going to happen, just don't spend all of your time worrying about it. Spend the time you would have spent worrying enjoying the time you do have with the people that matter.