Parenting Toddlers (1-3) Support Group

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I feel like a singal parent

Michelle5
Michelle5
My DH and I both work full time jobs and thank the god lord that my mother and mother-in-law are my babysisters for our daughter Mon-Fri. Well my DH has went into business with 2 of his friends and to get it started works everyday so they do not have to hire staff until it gets up and running. So he leaves for his fuul-time job at 7a.m and does not return from his 2nd job until 11p.m mon-sun. He does get to see Aubrey and I on Sat and Sun until 12p.m. So it is Aubrey and I the rest of the time. Now I will tell you that over the year I have got myself used to having him around making it easier doing things such as cleaning and cooking. Aubrey is what you would call a hands on child and when you go some where in the house she wants to be with you. The only way she is not upset is if someone is with her in the room. So now I find that the house is a mess because I am not able to go to the ketchen which is not baby proofed or the dinning room either. On the weekends when my DH is home for that little time we try to do family things so nothing gets done. I also had thought about having my family watch her but I feel guilty having them watch her when she was just with them. My house is about to exploed with mess. The only idea I have come up with is either to move and just leave everything behind haha or throw all the dirty dishes away and buy new. Any suggestions.
deleted_user
deleted_user
My son loves to "help" and will even stand on a stool and assist with dishes, which can be challenging. But he loves water, and will do anything to play in it. We just try to make sure that nothing like knives are in the water. He will also help clean if we tell him to go put something in the trash or his laundry basket, wherever, if he can reach it usually he'll do it. Or get him interested in something in the room we need to work in. It seems to work for him, he's almost 21 months. I don't know how old Aubrey is.
Michelle5
Michelle5
She just turned 1 and she is not so welling to throw things in the trash but loves to try and get them out of the trash. She loves to get into things asdoes most babies. So I know I have to child proof the place it is just getting the time to do it. i will not let her step foot into the kitchen until it is done.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Its so hard when you have an inquisitive child and havent got the baby-proofing done (been there done that, lol ended up with an emergency phone call to NHS direct!!) The only thing I can think of is putting a baby gate up in the doorway to the kitchen so she can see you but she cant hurt herself, and then keep checking on her. It must be so hard for you I dont know how id manage without my husband coming home at 6:00pm. It sounds like you are doing really well though. Things will get better she'll soon get more interested in "helping" and your husband will hopefully not work so many hours once his company is on its feet, then you can treat yourselves to a nice holiday!!!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm laughing over the moving and leaving everything behind idea - I've contemplated that myself! And use paper plates until you get to the bottom of the dirty ones! The kitchen can be a really fun room for a 1 year old - get the dangerous things out or up or locked and leave her a couple cupboards filled with plastic things - my son entertains himself for hours just moving things around from cupboard to cupboard - yes, it's a mess, and sometimes I find tupperware in the toy box and toys in the cupboard, but he has fun! I settle for cleaning up the clutter when I can, and I speak from experience when I say your house won't explode or mine would have blown up a long time ago! If you're like me, the mess might drive you insane, though!
deleted_user
deleted_user
15 min at a time. (Flylady.net) Babysteps on baby proofing. Do what you can and set aside short projects for your husband on the weekend that he can do while she is napping or it can be family time while he attaches the latches. ;-) And remember, not every cabinet has to be latched. Leave one or two with safe items in them and let her pull them out and play with them.

Would she still sit in an exersaucer? Do you have one? Can you borrow one? Pull that into the kitchen and put her in there. Can you put her into her highchair in the kitchen with some toys or a snack? It won't all get done in one try. It didn't get dirty in a day, look for progress not perfection (Flylady's 2008 motto)
Michelle5
Michelle5
So many great ideas. I have decided to clean one cupboard out as suggested for her to play in as she loves to pull things out that she thinks she is not aloud. I have all the BB proofing items and fingers crossed DH will be able to help put those on. As for the Dishes, I was able to buy brand new ones for my valentines gift as the ones we have are super old so the old ones are going bye by. YAH. DH also bought me a a whole new kitchen set new toaster,can opener, silver wear, pots and pans. Love him.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Good luck! You have plan now, so it's doable.....my son also loves pulling thing out, he as a drawer with towels, pot holders, etc. he empties it and then puts it back....it's messy, but keeps him busy when he isn't "helping".....a friend of mine and my sister-in-law both had a cupboard of plastics to play in for their children....I haven't done that yet, since he's happy with the drawer.....but perfers to be "helper Baby"
deleted_user
deleted_user
My son is 14 months old, and he loves to hang out with me in the kitchen while I cook and clean. We didn't officially baby-proof the kitchen with latches or anything, but we made sure to only put safe items, like crackers and plastic containers, in the drawers he can reach. Also, we don't hold any toxic cleaners in the house. When I wipe the floor, I just use a wet towel and baby likes to follow the trail. He also likes to "help" me sweep. I also place plastic balls in the kitchen that he likes to toss around and chase. They're big enough so he doesn't choke on them, but light enough that they bounce and entertain him. And when that gets old, I let him undo a package of crackers or something like that. Using these techniques, I'm able to cook and clean and keep the house looking okay -- not magazine beautiful, but okay.

Hope it gets better for you, hun. I know it's hard, especially with the hubby away most of the time. Good luck!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Oh.. the 3 questions I asked myself at that age about what DS was doing...
1) Can he hurt himself?
2) Is he going to destroy anything?
3) Is it entertaining him longer than it will take me to clean it up? ;-)

My mom used to wonder why I let him pull the books off the shelf everyday. Well it would keep him fascinated for 15-20 min and took me 2 min to pick up! ;-)
deleted_user
deleted_user
My DD is almost 2 and a half. I have discovered a wonderful thing: Paint wipes off of kitchen surfaces :-) If I'm alone with her and need to be in the kitchen I take her in with me, give her some paint, brushes and some paper and let her paint. She loves painting and even if she paints the floor, stove, fridge or walls (Which are wall papered) it all cleans up very easily. She understands that she can't go into the lounge until she has been cleaned up, but for a younger child you could use one of those gate goodies or just close the kitchen door.

She will stay quiet and occupied for as long as it takes me to wash a sink of dishes.
deleted_user
deleted_user
What a load of stress you have.
My daughter is the same way she needs attention all the time, or just someone to be near. I stay at home and we own a small business so she is with us all the time even my husband so I am surprise that she needs attention all the time.
She loves to help clean, we make it a habit that she helps mommy.
also don't feel bad to ask for help to get things straighten in your home. Once you get your house clean it is easier to keep it up alittle. so I would ask family for help. even if it is asking them to help you clean. don't feel bad I am sure they won't mind at all. then offer to make them dinner one night.
good luck
Michelle5
Michelle5
It is soo funy Mommyto1 that you said that because my mom who watches Aubrey at her place called out of the blue and said that she would need to come to my house and watch her because they where doing work at her home and she did not want the baby to be around that. Well the first thing I though was I was going to call off work because I did not want her to come to my home, but I took a lot of the advise given to me from you wonderful people and tried it. I was able to get somethings done but there was so much to do and I needed to attended to Aubrey's needs still, so I though well I have been telling my mom that my house is not clean so at least she will not be shocked. I come home from work and not only is my mother there but my 2 sisters as well and my house is spottless. They had planned it out knowing how my little one is and knowing how I was not able to get things done and came and cleaned for me. They even did my LAUNDRY YAH. God bless them. I also got another suprise and my DH got a day off from work. I was able to put things in order that my sisters where not sure of. I have such a great family.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Oh wow, can I borrow your mother and sisters?!!!!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Thats great... Don't you feel better that it is done....
granted you will stress in a week or 2 when it is crazy again, but don't feel bad to ask for help. A happy mommy is a happy family:)
plus everything being cleaned makes it so much easier for you to come home and relax and enjoy your baby.
Glad that it works.
Even though I am tired I make sure I spot ckean everynight just putting things away and a load or 2 of laundry. makes it hard to also work but not a stressed out.