Parenting Toddlers (1-3) Support Group

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How do you love your 2 yr old.

belle
belle
I have a 2 yr. old daughter and I love her very much. I would hate if something happened to her. I'd feel so guilty. I feel like I'm in a postpartum where I don't want to be around her. I am always wanting someone else to take care of her. We are in the middle of tantrum, potty training, and learning skills abcs and 123s. That sort of thing. I think maybe I'm just burnt out. I am 41 and going through menopause and depression and don't know if thats what is causing the distance. Is anyone else going through this not wanting their child around? I need some help. My son is 11 and I just don't enjoy her the way I did him. I am currently looking for a job but can't find one and our finances are really bad and I'm worried about losing almost everything. Sometimes I feel if I didn't get pregnant with her my family wouldn't be in the financial mess it is. I feel like I blame her. I know its not her fault but I can't help feeling this way. Any advice? I have a therapist should I talk about this to her? I'm scared someone will Take her away and I don't want that either. I'm so messed up right now. Any Advice?
deleted_user
deleted_user
BREATHE!!!..just breathe...and make sure that it's in AND out :) Your daughter is the best thing that ever happened to you and you need to know that! Definetly talk to someone about it because you seem quite concerned and don't worry that they will take her away. I have a feeling that they take children from people who don't talk out there problems RESPONSIBLY. You are a great mom and your daughter needs you to stay that way so make you a priority and relax in knowing that you love her and there is no better north star than that. hang in there :)
deleted_user
deleted_user
Please, please talk to your therapist as soon as possible. Let her know exactly how you're feeling. You very well could be dealing with post-partum depression and there's nothing to be ashamed of about it. Just tell your therapist that you're not yourself, you're feeling down and you're not enjoying your daughter the way you would like too. No one will take your daughter away unless she's being abused.

We also have a post partum community here on Daily Strength. You should take a look, I'm sure there are a lot of members there who can relate to your situation.

Just remember, you are not alone.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Definately talk to your Therapist!!!
deleted_user
deleted_user
You're definitely not alone and I'd be lying if I said I've never felt like I want my daughter (also 2) out of my hair for a period of time (like a week LOL). She's very DRAMATIC and any little disappointment sets her off into a frenzy. Screaming, falling down, pushing me away. It's frustrating as HELL!! I count down the hours at night when it's her bedtime, and plenty of mornings I've felt pure DREAD when I hear her wake up. It's extremely exhausting, and I give you credit b/c I'm only 27 and feel burnt out. I agree w/ the others and think you should tell your therapist if this is something that is occupying your thoughts most of the time. I dont have much other advice for you but again, dont feel like you're the only mom who ever felt this way. You're not!!
deleted_user
deleted_user
PS...
As far as the question...how do you love her? It's really easy to go back and forth between the heart-bursting love I have for her and the 'wanna rip my hair out and hide under the bed' feeling. But seeing her smile, hearing her laugh, getting a big ol slobber kiss, having her brush my hair, pat my hand, singing her songs, playing in the yard. All these things make my heart swell and I know I'll never love anybody like I love my child. Girls can be very tough, they need LOTS of attention. Maybe your son wasnt so needy and you werent prepared. It's not easy by any definition, but think of all the cute fun things you will be able to do w/ a girl that you couldnt w/ your son. I hope you find some peace in this situation.
deleted_user
deleted_user
You sound exactly like me. With all the temper tantrums, stress w/ my fiance and bills upon bills upon bills piling up I honestly don't know how I can even get out of bed in the mornings. But I do it because I love my son more than anything and want only the absolute best for him. I am constantly worrying and second guessing myself on everything to the point that I'm just so exhausted that I have to call my Mom and have her take care of him for a while. I don't really have any advice for you I just wanted to post and let you know that understand exactly what you're going through. All I can say is just hang in there. It's the love I have for my son and the love I know he has for me that keeps me going every day. Just remind yourself that they love you and where would they be without you.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Two things. Talk to your Theripast.
Now relax, she is only two and it sounds like there is alot being put on both of you.
Potty training, abc's and 123's is a heavy load for her. Put priorityon them andtake one at a time. My son was 3 before potty training. He is almost 4 and still not ready for abc's. He does pretty good with numbers up to 5.
Right now just love her and care for her. Take care of yourself.

Bob
deleted_user
deleted_user
It sounds like you just have a lot of things going on all at once...I get frustrated with my 18-month-old, and part of it is him being in the terrible 2's, but the other part is I have so much going on too...Find an outlet--something that helps you relax and take a step back. If you have someone that can watch your children even 2 hours a week, just take that time and create "me" time, doing anything that will help you refocus. I think talking with your therapist about this would be great, and don't worry, they won't take her away from you...these sorts of feelings are perfectly normal.