Parenting Toddlers (1-3) Support Group

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Help!! Terrible tantrums.

lindseylu
lindseylu
William is 19 months old now and just this week has started having terrible tantrums. If he doesn't get his way it is over. He screams, cries, stomps, if we pick him up he hits. We have tried to not acknowledge the fact he is having a tantrum while at home and he just keeps it up. We have put him in time out and he cries forever, then as soon as he stops and gets up he starts all over again. We need ideas please! Thanks!
deleted_user
deleted_user
At this age repetition is key. They need reminding and reinforcement to not have the behavior. Time outs should only last as long as the child's age, so at 19 months, maybe a minute and a half. Sit him in the time out chair and start the timer (put it where he can see it), if he gets up put him back without speaking to him and start the time over again. While he is in the chair don't speak to him or hover, stay just close enough that you know if he takes off. When the time out is over, speak to him at his level, tell him why he was in time out, and ask him to give you a hug. Then let him up.

Other than that -- positive reinforcement is key. If he behaves well, does something good, does not throw a tantrum when you say no, make sure he knows about it and praise him for it.
summerbda
summerbda
Redirect...over and over and over and than REPEAT!!!! lol
deleted_user
deleted_user
I agree with the above, but I will also add that distraction is a very useful tool sometimes. Just tonight my little guy was MAD, and I happened to be heading to the garage to do something, and I said, "Hey, I'm going out to the car, want to come?" He stopped crying and took off running toward the garage. Tantrum over.
summerbda
summerbda
Just wanted to add anything my daughter wants...I move!! if it won't hurt her immediately I let her grab it than 2 minutes later I distract and later take it (hide it) and she forgets she had it..it is VERY important to pick your battles, as they will only get worse as they get older.
My DH is always following around my dd saying no?! and I follow him and say STOP telling her no...it's really not going to hurt her! Some people make big deals outta not really that big of a deal things....
deleted_user
deleted_user
Oh, yes, distraction is a great tool.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Great advice already - I will add - stay calm!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I think time out certainly has a place and I do use it as a last resort with my little boy who has just turned 2, but distraction can often difuse a situation before it reaches a point where time out is necessary. I used to ignore the tantrum completely and start getting really excited about a ficticious "cat" that would miraculously appear whenever the tantrum started. "Oh can you see the cat?, where is the cat, he is hiding!! look!! that naughty cat is hiding from you!!" He would be so entranced and intent on seeing the "naughty cat" that the tantrum would be forgotten. I did it with my daughter too and she fell for it every time, even now she is 4 she still plays along and pretends to see the "cat" whenever I do!!