Parenting Toddlers (1-3) Support Group

This community is focused on the joys, challenges and concerns faced by parents of toddlers (1 to 3 year olds). The major areas of child development include: physical development, perception and sensory development, communication and language development, cognitive development, emotional development and social development. Join to share your stories and get advice.

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nanda1979 12/06/2011

OK, so I was reading another post (MissDotty"s post about tantrums) and I agree 100% of what she was saying. My 18month old is starting to throw more tantrums more often. Now I know how to stop them ( ignore them and all that other stuff) but my husband and MIL and just about everybody else doesnt abide by it. This makes its SOOOOO hard for me. They claim they dont want to hear him scream or some other dumb excuse. ,well if everytime he screams and you pick him up Well...... he achieved HIS goal so he KNOWS it works and will do it every time !!!!! Its so simple.It takes about a good solid week of doing that but trust me,he is OK. I always make sure he's fed and changed so he's just mad.What do I do?I can't tell you how many fights I've gotten into with my DH about this.All he does is give me excuses...... i beg him that he is feeding right into his tantrums and thats why he keeps on doing it more and more. What do I do????? well, just venting I guess. I pray that my DH will just realize it and stop.......we'll see.

deleted_user 12/07/2011

That must be so frustrating. The only thing Advice I can offer you is to put a timeframe on it. For us it was the 2 week but this gave us structure and really helped esp when we might have otherwisr given in. If you can maybe explain that you really feel long term this will help your son but you need their help and perhaps the focus on days gone/ left of that period and any changes/ improvements will help them to stick with you. The timeframe will help them as its not open ended. But if you speak to them both at the same time & let them know the role their actions/reactions will play longterm & what do they really want for your son? I'd be amazed if they still weren't willing to listen after that. Best of luck with it.

deleted_user 12/07/2011

My husband does the same thing. He has gotten the habit of carrying our two yr old while he makes him breakfast etc in the mornings. Of course when he is out of town and I refuse to carry my heavy 2 yr old around while rushing to get everything done, its a big fit. Of course my husband thinks its funny. Sigh.

LJPage95 12/09/2011

I remember you saying that he doesn't say a lot of words yet. I wonder if some of his frustration stems from not being able to express what he wants. Being 18 months, HE certainly know what he wants. :)

I don't have any advice about what to do about DH. You may just have to stick to your guns and do what you do when you are with Lil C and when J is there and feeding into a tantrum, leave the room and let him deal with it. Hopefully he will at least learn it won't work with you. Do you think J feeds ito them to get him to stop because J isn't feeling well and just wants it to end as soon as possible?

Sorry I don't have anything better.
L

deleted_user 12/09/2011

DH and I have different parenting styles, so I know how you feel. Sometimes my DH tells me he thinks I should try it HIS way and value his input. He has a point, even though he is wrong! LOL
I know in the past I have asked my husband to tell me why he is resistant to my way or why he is so certain his way is the right way. When his reply is "that is the way my parents did it" I tell him why I feel it should be a different way. On occassion that has made him feel like I have information to back up my point of view so he gives in.
Personally I do not think you will get your MIL on board until you get DH on board. And then you need the request to come from him and not you.

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