My oldest was just over 3 when he trained. I thought he would go to school in diapers, too! He is now 10 and TOTALLY normal in every way. Some kids just aren't ready. I guess I don't really have advice, but I want you to know you are NOT alone, and he WILL train when he's ready.

OMG this reminds me of my son who will be 6 soon! Well my son is big for his age so even in pull ups at 2 most people thought he was at least 3! He was also in the last size so I was like OMG I need to get him trained! LOL Well about 2 weeks before he turned 3 I took his pull ups away EXCEPT at night and when we were out but at home it was underwear. At first he didn't seem to care and I was cleaning him uo but after about 1-2 weeks he started not liking it. He was still hard but that's what ultimately got him going on the potty. After he started going a few times a day we started a potty sticker chart which he loved! He did get pe down by 3 1/2 but poop wasn't till close to 4 and still accidents here and there till 4 1/2! He was just hard and sometimes its trial and error with kids to see what works. But I quit using those changing tables pass 2 because he was too big I would take him in a stall and lay him on a towel and change him. Of all the people I asked of hard kids they said the taking diapers/ pull ups away worked. I mostly worked on home then we worked on when we were out then night time! He was a process...LOL BUT my daughter his younger sister was easy so I eventually got a break! LOL

Well good luck!

I, just like Anjeh, put my daughter right into panties. I know girls and boys learn and respond differently but it worked like a charm. She hated that wet feeling.

Were no where near potty training yet but I know one thing for sure. . . your husband MUST stop the "name calling" ASAP. I am guessing he is not being intentionally hateful but your son does not know that.

Fisher Price has a "Fun to Learn" potty that is larger than the other children potties. It plays songs and is very similar to an adult toilet. Its easy to clean and the top part can be placed on top of a regular toilet, so it can be used for quite awhile. I really like how it even makes flushing sounds so your child gets used to the noises a big toilet makes. More information on it here:

http://www.yogee.com.au/fisher-price-learn-potty-p-221.html

The "big boy" tactic is not always the best one to take. I agree with what you said about it breaking self esteem. It can also blow up in your face. Your son can revert to acting like a baby just so he doesn't have to use the potty. Just make it fun and appealing. If he's easily distracted, leave some sort of toy in the bathroom that will keep him occupied while its in there- just make sure to wash it off. ;o)

My son was 2yr 4 months when he toilet trained but most people thought he was about 3 because of his size and other skills such as speech etc. he would cry if we tried to put him in underwear and he would sceam for his nappy if we left him without it for more than a minute. however, one morning he burst in to our bedroom demanding to be put on the toilet and that was the day that he decided for himself that enough was enough.
2 months later he is dry day and night and refuses to wear a nappy under any circumstances. i think they all reach a point sooner or later where they decide to give up soiling themselves, but I'm with you on the whole big child still in nappies thing. good luck!!!