Hi RachW. Welcome to the group. It's tough feeling shut out. Teenagers do go through a phase where they value privacy from their family over connection to them. But teens still need parents and family.

I don't think that the extent of your daughter's withdrawal is normal. Is there an activity that the two of you used to enjoy that you can get her help with or advice about? Maybe try some familiar or new steps to little by little, one step at a time, increase her voluntary participation in activities outside her room. Also, maybe think of ways, or areas in which,
you can be appropriately open about your life to encourage her to be more open about hers.

Teen years can be tough. Think long-term..

Best wishes.

Thank you for the tips Beryl367!

I'm going through something very similar with my daughter who turned 14 in dec. her personality has shifted to bubblly and happy to withdrawn and to herself. She comes out more than meal times but not much. She still plays sports a couple days a week but would prefer to be on Instagram constantly. Her friends are on there til 3 in the morning but I'm the mean mom cause I give her limits. its very hard not being as close to her now. We have always had a great relationship. Everyone tells me its a normal stage but I'm struggling awful with it and I miss my sweet girl

I would like to recommend the book your 10 to 14 year old by louise bates ames. it does a good job of explaining the developmental stages. it has helped me a lot

I am glad I am not alone in this. What is the name of the book you recommend? I remember going through a similar stage around her age because I was not as interested in what my parents are doing and would rather focus on my friends. I just did not seem remember being in my room so much, but with that being said I did not have a cell phone and social media was not a thing. Instead I would go to a friends house.

hi. that is the name of the book. your 10 to fourteen year old. its older but I highly recommend it. Is your daughter a lot more distant from you now too?

I am going through something similar. My 12yo daughter, in middle school, has never really had any friends that she hangs with outside of school. As of late she secludes herself not in her room but immersed in YouTube videos. You can't get her to want to do anything. She says she has friends she sees at school. But has no interest in having a relationship with anyone outside of school. She says she wants her free time. She will sit on computer and watch YouTube all day long.

I know this post is old. I'm new here and can relate to the 12 year old not leaving her room. Also relate to friends at school but never wants to socialize with anyone outside school. She says she has online friends and I can hear her talking to them sometimes but no friends after school or weekends in person. She is very withdrawn and talks back a lot. She knows everything at 12 years old. This is an very difficult stage for me to handle. It's just me and her and I hate dealing with this daily.