Parenting Teenagers (12-18) Support Group
This community is focused on the joys, challenges and concerns faced by parents of teenagers (12 to 18 year olds). The major areas of child development include: physical development, perception and sensory development, communication and language development, cognitive development, emotional development and social development.
I have a very very soon to be 17 year old (no license, no job right now). During the week when there's school the next day he needs to be home by nine--as long as he has permission first to go wherever it is he wants to go. It's the same for his girlfriend coming over to our home. She needs to leave by nine during the school week. On weekends, school holidays, etc. he has a curfew of midnight. Just wondering, do these times seem age appropriate? Just consider the age, not any other variables that may or may not be involved with my particular son. I'm just curious to hear from other parents on this topic. Thanks.
rsnation
Between 8:00 and 9:00 on school nights. No school nights vary. My son, 17 years old, doesn't drive either which means I'm frequently on call to do the driving, so much of it depends on how late I'm willing to go out (not very). Honestly though it's usually not much past 10:00 unless he's with his best friend, who I've known since they were both in fourth grade and who I trust completely. Friends are allowed over here pretty much as late as their parents will let them stay on the weekends/holidays/summer.
deleted_user
I think your set curfews are appropriate for a 17 year old. My 15-year-old son has a group of friends that he goes out with. I set a curfew we think is great for him. We made it for 9:00 on school nights and 11:30 on weekends. When he does break curfew, the next day he doesn't go out and he has extra chores. So far he has been good at keeping curfew.
deleted_user
I think much depends on the individual child. When my son was living with me, he absolutely needed consistency, extra sleep and wind down time because of his psychological and neurological issues. He had room time by 8, lights out by 8:30 on school nights and 1/2 hour later on weekends. However, one of his consequences was to move it earlier in 1/2 hour increments. I and my siblings on the other hand were not allowed in anyone but an adult's/parent's car after 9pm without specific permission (fairly freely granted if my mom trusted the person and it was later just to be returning home from an activity such as a movie or hanging at a friend's house.) Otherwise our mom relied on the common sense and morals she taught us. We had NO curfew as long as we kept her informed how to reach us and she could verify where we were. We were expected to discuss our plans for the night, to not overstay the welcome of friends' parents, etc. She used natural consequences. If we overslept tor were slow-moving and missed our bus or ride to school, we paid for a cab out of our money on hand or had to do extra chores to pay it back with interest. Although we could go back to sleep if we wanted, the family did chores together on Saturday at 9am followed by family fun. If we had trouble getting up then or for church on Sunday, we had to pay her back double per minutes for her wasted effort and time. If we were cranky or ineffectual any day, we were sent to bed early the next day. We felt respected so we respected my mom.
deleted_user
I have 2 college age boys (18 & 19). One lives on campus the other at home. But when they both are home during the week its usually by 11 because I have to work in the morning and I have explained that I stay up and wait for them to make sure they are home safely. One the weekends I tell them 1 am because there is absolutely no where they need to be after that. (its not like they can go to bars/clubs)
WoMom1
Thanks everyone.
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