Parenting Teenagers (12-18) Support Group

This community is focused on the joys, challenges and concerns faced by parents of teenagers (12 to 18 year olds). The major areas of child development include: physical development, perception and sensory development, communication and language development, cognitive development, emotional development and social development.

1,199 Members

2,144 Posts

0 Online

campyone 08/30/2009

My son(16) is doing his summer visit at his Dads 30 days.Well my issue is this, his Dad has a beer keg in the garage and is letting my son and his friends drink from time to time,Also he letting son run around all hours 1-3 in the morning.
Don't even ask me to try to talk to his Dad, he think its his right to what ever he wants with our son.

Do I have any legal recourse?

Sure my son is just loving his freedom and it will be a problem when he has to come home and live with my rules and restrictions. I'm sure the moment I enforce the rules he will wanting to go back to his Dads!!!

Any advice is appreciated, I live in California.

deleted_user 08/30/2009

I'm in IL, but most state laws are very similiar when it comes to family law. Please check the curfew for 16 yr olds in CA, if it's 11pm then he's voilating the law. It is also illegal to provide alcohol to minors. I'm sure the parents of your son's friends wouldn't appreciate hearing their children are allowed to drink at your ex husband's house. Let them know what's going on. You can call the police at any time and have them investigate. I'm not sure how they will respond, but you can try. You will need proof that all this is going on. You can start a case with social services for child endangerment and pettition the court to revoke his visitation pending a hearing. This can be done in a day or so in emergency cases. You can also try withholding visitation altogether and he would be obligated to take you to court and force you to comply. (FYI- this may run the risk of arrest for you) At that point you would have to present your case to the judge and provide your reasons for taking a drastic step. You will need to have everything well documented and evidence to back up your claim. If there is any chance of physical harm to you have them mark your case with a domestic violence alert and proceed with caution.

deleted_user 08/30/2009

I need to add that you must take your son's reactions into consideration before you go all out. After they reach a certain age they can decide who they live with in IL. So you might win the battle but lose the war.

deleted_user 08/31/2009

I agree with SRonthego. Underaged drinking can be reported to the police. Tell the parents of the other children drinking there so your son gets a clear message from you and the other parents that it's not cool to drink.
Sadly, you ex is setting a example for your
son that this is o.k. Don't waste your breathe on him but talk to your son about the mixed messages he is getting. His father clearly doesn't have his best interests at heart. Also, explain to your son that if he is caught drinking, regardles of who's company he is in, he can go to juvinile court and do community service the first time.

deleted_user 09/16/2009

When you know your son is drinking at the dads home I would notify the police and tell them that a underage minor is drinking in that home and I would also notify CPS through there hotline number and tell them that the father is aloying your son to drink while your son is there for the visits to the fathers home. And when I lived in CA the curfew for minors was 10 pm.

Join the Conversation