Up until about a year ago...my..now 18 year old son had never given us any trouble. When he turned 17, something just clicked/changed in him. He had always been quite and pretty much stayed to himself. He had a few close friends who shared his interest in gaming and that was about it. I would always compliment him on how proud I was that he didn't seem to be drawn to what so many of his peers were doing....pot/drinking/etc. He, himself would not talk bad about them but would express his thoughts on why he didn't understand why those kids did those things. Then he turned 17 and started driving. I think he got tired of being so quiet and the shy one and he got with a group of kids who drank/smoked pot..etccc. He seemed very happy that he had found a group that had embraced and accepted him. But, we all know that it doesn't take much for some druggie or alchy to embrace you..as long as your in the mudpuddle with them and they're getting their high. Anyway, he landed himself in some trouble...he and 2 of his "friends" were caught by the law with marijuana. My son was charged with simple possession. We go on June 14th to get his punishment. After he got in trouble, for about a week, he was very remorseful and on his own..had sworn these people off. Then he got bored and within 2 weeks...he was wanting to hang out with them again. My house used to be the hangout for the kids when they were younger, now you never see kids over here because I don't allow drinking or pot smoking.....( I mean DUH!! what kind of parent allows that kind of stuff?) This one friend he has inparticular, has parents who let all the kids come over and get high and drunk or whatever else they want. We found out just a day or so ago, that the father at this household had offered my son a couple of pot plants...we found this out because my son told someone he thought wouldn't tell us...but he was wrong. My son still lives at home and recently graduated High School. He has a job but doesn't make near enough to support himself. He talks military but can't really do anything about that until all this legal junk is over and that's if he's even serious about it to begin with. He lacks focus and direction and I feel like if we don't get a hold of him fast then he is going to spiral at stealth speed into some loser druggie life. So many people say that when they're 18, there's nothing more you can do. But seeing as he is still dependent on us to a great degree....doesn't that give us some say so? After hearing about the pot plant incident....his father told him that he wasn't allowed to go to this certain guys house anymore. While I agree with that....it scares me that it will push him to want to be around that junk even more. I feel like I lose either way....on the one hand I can let him go, make his mistakes and hopefully learn from them...but the mistakes he is making seem so huge. On the other hand we can do the "my house my rules" things....and I'm afraid it will backfire. Does anyone have any advice for me? Thanks