Parenting Teenagers (12-18) Support Group
This community is focused on the joys, challenges and concerns faced by parents of teenagers (12 to 18 year olds). The major areas of child development include: physical development, perception and sensory development, communication and language development, cognitive development, emotional development and social development.
I am frantic. Recently I found an unusual amount of cash in my son's room. (He's 17 & has given me every reason to believe that he's in over his head and doesn't know it.)
He left his cell phone unattended for awhile this evening--unbelievable, but true. I looked at as many text messages as I could. But I was nervous and fumbling because it's an unfamiliar phone to me & he was right downstairs. Anyway, the texts that I did read led my mother's intuition to believe that he is involved in selling/trading pills &/or pot.
And the therapist said we weren't in a crisis situation! Now maybe he'll understand what I meant when I told him that my son is a great charmer and can make you believe (or at least question what you believe) that grass actually grows orange.
I'm scared. I've been upset all day over other things & this is just pushing all the wrong buttons. I don't know where to turn or what to do. We have a therapy session on Friday. But I don't think this can wait. What should I do???? What would you do???? And please don't judge me....I'm my own worst critic, so I've got that covered. I'm extremely vulnerable right now.
He left his cell phone unattended for awhile this evening--unbelievable, but true. I looked at as many text messages as I could. But I was nervous and fumbling because it's an unfamiliar phone to me & he was right downstairs. Anyway, the texts that I did read led my mother's intuition to believe that he is involved in selling/trading pills &/or pot.
And the therapist said we weren't in a crisis situation! Now maybe he'll understand what I meant when I told him that my son is a great charmer and can make you believe (or at least question what you believe) that grass actually grows orange.
I'm scared. I've been upset all day over other things & this is just pushing all the wrong buttons. I don't know where to turn or what to do. We have a therapy session on Friday. But I don't think this can wait. What should I do???? What would you do???? And please don't judge me....I'm my own worst critic, so I've got that covered. I'm extremely vulnerable right now.
I don't think you need to act today as much as you would like too. If you hadn't caught his texts, you still wouldn't know.
I think it is really tough to keep something under wraps that we discover about our kids. Sometimes the best path is the silent path. Knowing you have a counselor appointment in a few days, it can be better handled there.
Hang in there and don't be tough on yourself. Parenting is tough.
I had kind of a similar situation where my son left his computer out. Well I snooped and let's just say, I wasn't pleased at where he has spent his time. I wanted to go down and yank him out of school right then. But I took a deep breath and I waited. I started a discussion casually and it lead to a much better result than if I reacted on my knee jerk reaction.
I know this is different than if he was dealing drugs. I really hope the counselor is able to help you guys. Please let us know.
This is just me, but if it was my son, and I caught him dealing drugs, I'd call the police and have them deal with it. Sometimes you have to go to a higher authority on the food chain. If the kid is not going to respect you or the rules of your house, then he will have to respect the rules of law and the officers that enforce those laws. If this does not get stopped NOW, he is in for a long road of doing the same thing and thinking he can get away with it.
But the choice is yours.
I agree you can't allow your kids to do something illegal but I don't know that I would bust them and call the police on the first offense. I would talk to my kid (with a counselor) and see if he sees the light. If not, it might be worth calling the police. I don't know about where others live but the police don't have time to check on every petty dealer.
I would find it amazing if the counselor didn't have some assistance to offer.
Hope it went well.