Parenting Teenagers (12-18) Support Group

This community is focused on the joys, challenges and concerns faced by parents of teenagers (12 to 18 year olds). The major areas of child development include: physical development, perception and sensory development, communication and language development, cognitive development, emotional development and social development.

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Children's Health & Parenting
/ Parenting Teenagers (12-18) Support Group

Satisfying my kids

Babydoll1224
Babydoll1224

This is my first post as i just joined. I really don't know what to do. We had an incident that abruptly took my husband away from me and our children in October 2019. He was set up and arrested on federal charges. Two days later my daughter was taken from me by social services and placed with her father ( whom is the one who set my husband up), she has recently moved back home since she graduated high school. My biggest challenge is keeping all of my children happy. They all have their own differen but similar diagnoses and without my husband their dad here to help it has been emotionally, physically, and mentally draining me. I take care of my parents as well which takes a lot of time. My 12 year old constantly wants to go anywhere I go and sometimes i just need a break but he will throw a tantrum if he doesn't get his way and so does my 17 year old daughter. Just tonight she got mad because he wants to go to the race track with her and myself. She claims she needs a break from him. She goes to her boyfriends how every other weekend but apparently that isn't good enough for her. My children don't help me out around the house but expect me do drop everything the minute they want to do something. I just don't know what to do anymore. 

Babydoll1224
Babydoll1224
We just recently figured out is was my daughter's dad who set my husband up
Beryl367
Beryl367
Welcome to the group Babydoll.

So sorry to hear all you've been through lately. Wow!

What kind of diagnoses do your kids have? I have one with autism and we are able to get things like respite care or behavioral analysis services through our county disability office (though things are a little slow at the moment with some people not having returned to work yet). That may be an option for you depending on your situation.

It's understandable that your son is clingy and your daughter wants time with just you. Especially considering your husband's unfortunate arrest and her recent removal from the home. Is there another family member nearby who can take your son or your daughter for even an hour or two every once in a while so you can have some Mom time with the other kiddo, or even get some time to yourself? I hesitate to rely on my family, but you may have a different situation with yours.

Thoughts and prayers for your strength and an increase to your in-person support group
Babydoll1224
Babydoll1224
All three of my children have different diagnosis my daughter has depression anxiety impulsivity add and dmdd my 13 year old has depression anxiety anger o d d & o c d and my 12 year old has ADHD severely dmdd impulsivity anger and then just recently found out he has a nickel sized cyst on the back of his brain causing migraines. My mom can't handle my boys by herself because with her disabilities she just can't do it and she's all I have to rely on right now. My twelve-year-old did just finish up therapy it was a four-month program and he just discharged on July 6th we do have a therapist lined up with our mental health facility here locally to take over therapy with him. As far as me ever getting time for myself I don't get any my current therapist says I need time for myself I need a break every once in awhile.
Beryl367
Beryl367
So sorry Babydoll1224, don't know how I missed your answer. Many hugs and prayers for you as you certainly have your hands full. I hope things are working out with your 12 year old's outpatient therapist. As hard as it is to parent a kid with anger and impulsivity issues, it also must be hard to be a kid with anger and impulsivity issues. If you can't get services through your county, can the people at the therapy program refer you for other services? Respite care comes to mind, but I'm not sure what the requirements are to get it, my son has a developmental disability and the diagnoses you listed look mostly psychological.(my son was at one point diagnosed with ODD, and I know he suffers from anxiety). Maybe try your local NAMI office to see what kind of supports they or other organizations they might know about can provide. My son has anger and impulsivity issues as well and we are using a combination of extreme supervision, behavior analysis, and medication to make it easier for him to have better days. I'm often on here multiple times a week if you want to talk (trying to be on more, but hectic at home lately...)
Peace and blessings.
Beryl
Babydoll1224
Babydoll1224
Sorry it has taken so long to reply. My login wouldn't let til now. They did finally get my son set up with a new therapist but she's so booked up his appointment isn't til November but I'll manage. They did change one of my son's medications and that seems to help somewhat but we still have our days. I know he's missing daddy because the last time he talked to him and daddy told him to "chill out" he starter crying. I just wish this mess was all over and done with and my husband was home.
Beryl367
Beryl367
Glad things are looking up at least a little, November will be here soon.
Wishing you some moments of peace until then.