Parenting Teenagers (12-18) Support Group
This community is focused on the joys, challenges and concerns faced by parents of teenagers (12 to 18 year olds). The major areas of child development include: physical development, perception and sensory development, communication and language development, cognitive development, emotional development and social development.
i was so embarrassed by myself taht i didn't want to say anything to anyone so i came here and find that i'm not alone.
my 14 yr old middle son has been so moody and distant for the last year it seems. he's always attacked his younger brother and his older brother does a lot of chores around the house to help.
today i was out with my girlfriend, she got a new apt and wanted to show me, so we went and did a little shopping, got home around 8:30 and find my youngest son crying (he's 11) saying that the middle one put his hands around his neck and yelled in his face about changing the channel on the tv. the oldest one was upstairs and came down when he was done in the bathroom. \
i got so mad at the middle one for doing that. i keep telling him and telling him not to hurt his brother. it was just last wk that he stomped his leg when he was sitting on the floor and he has this big bruise on this chin. it seems like my youngest one is afraid of his brother and enver wants to be alone with him and i dont blame him at all.
the middle one has been hating me as of late. but today..i yelled at him for hitting him and he just smirked at me and said ya! i said yeah! just barking at me all the time, i told him i'll make him lose that attitude of his and bring him right back down to size. i asked him to clean the washroom before i left and of course he didn't do it.
i told him to go do it, he went, he was smirking and being smart and i slapped him..oh God i feel so guilty. he grabbed me and i grabbed him back. he threatened me saying he'll call CFS or whatever and then i'll be screwed he said cuz i'll lose my youngest and my oldest and then i'll cry. he was manhandling me and i head butted him..omg..i can't even say it. his nose bled and he started to cry but it was because he said to me, i told you why i cry. i cry because you're my mother and i dont know why you hit me.
it breaks my heart and i feel so bad. he's so bloody mean to everyone and has been for a really long time. i slapped his mouth for being smart and talking crap to me. i head butted him because he pushed into me.
i know this is completely the wrong way to handle anything! i dont want this to happen ever again!
please tell me how do i bring my child back to me? how long is this going to last? i'm going to look for a councillor tomorrow for us, for him and for me. i just want to make it all better and avoid anything liek this again.
i saw a posting/reply by someone who mentioned drawing up a no hitting contract with consequences for everyone, including me and i want to do that, but what are the best consequences? i dont know!
please help!
my 14 yr old middle son has been so moody and distant for the last year it seems. he's always attacked his younger brother and his older brother does a lot of chores around the house to help.
today i was out with my girlfriend, she got a new apt and wanted to show me, so we went and did a little shopping, got home around 8:30 and find my youngest son crying (he's 11) saying that the middle one put his hands around his neck and yelled in his face about changing the channel on the tv. the oldest one was upstairs and came down when he was done in the bathroom. \
i got so mad at the middle one for doing that. i keep telling him and telling him not to hurt his brother. it was just last wk that he stomped his leg when he was sitting on the floor and he has this big bruise on this chin. it seems like my youngest one is afraid of his brother and enver wants to be alone with him and i dont blame him at all.
the middle one has been hating me as of late. but today..i yelled at him for hitting him and he just smirked at me and said ya! i said yeah! just barking at me all the time, i told him i'll make him lose that attitude of his and bring him right back down to size. i asked him to clean the washroom before i left and of course he didn't do it.
i told him to go do it, he went, he was smirking and being smart and i slapped him..oh God i feel so guilty. he grabbed me and i grabbed him back. he threatened me saying he'll call CFS or whatever and then i'll be screwed he said cuz i'll lose my youngest and my oldest and then i'll cry. he was manhandling me and i head butted him..omg..i can't even say it. his nose bled and he started to cry but it was because he said to me, i told you why i cry. i cry because you're my mother and i dont know why you hit me.
it breaks my heart and i feel so bad. he's so bloody mean to everyone and has been for a really long time. i slapped his mouth for being smart and talking crap to me. i head butted him because he pushed into me.
i know this is completely the wrong way to handle anything! i dont want this to happen ever again!
please tell me how do i bring my child back to me? how long is this going to last? i'm going to look for a councillor tomorrow for us, for him and for me. i just want to make it all better and avoid anything liek this again.
i saw a posting/reply by someone who mentioned drawing up a no hitting contract with consequences for everyone, including me and i want to do that, but what are the best consequences? i dont know!
please help!
I truly believe kids mean to be good. There is something getting his goat and making him so mean. The younger child does need protected. He is being bullied by his brother and that just isn't okay. Perhaps the counselor can figure out what is setting your middle child off in an inappropriate manner and helping you both learn to work better together.
So you feel better, I would sit down with him alone and tell him you are sorry things got out of control but you simply will not tolerate his behavior any longer. Thus you are going to counseling to learn to work better together.
i wanna fix everything!! i want him happy!! i want my baby back :(
any other suggestions are very very very welcome!! please give me tips, insights, your experiences.