Parenting Teenagers (12-18) Support Group

This community is focused on the joys, challenges and concerns faced by parents of teenagers (12 to 18 year olds). The major areas of child development include: physical development, perception and sensory development, communication and language development, cognitive development, emotional development and social development.

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/ Parenting Teenagers (12-18) Support Group

new here and frustrated

annewinnie
annewinnie
my son is 16 will b 17 next month.we do not have anywhere near a good relationship. he has moved out because he thought life was so rough at home, he refuses to talk to me and i just dont know how to get through to him. what frustrates me most is i look around at adults and kids around me that have a postive and good relationship with there mothers and i am floored because there mothers drank and partied almost every night around the kids. didnt say much when the kids grew up and started partying with them. i did not drink around my son. maybe in his whole life 3 times. i never ever partied anywhere my child was and never ever went home drunk or even have had something to drink. there was nothing he could have ever needed. i feel like i have done everything right but somehow it just wasnt enough.just frustrated with it all. i just dont understand.
lexisgirl
lexisgirl
I've always been very close with my son. He will be 17 next week. I never partied with him and actually he still doesn't drink but recently, he started dating a girl and we fight like crazy. New Years Eve, we agreed he should leave and go stay at his Dad's house. I had to demand he come back on New Years Day. We fight almost daily now. He corrects me and tells me I am wrong. He doesn't want to spend any time with me? Why? What did I do to cause this behavior? It frankly has me pretty depressed and feeling like a failure.

I bring this up because I think it is just teen behavior. They have surges of hormones and they are trying to find their way to independence. Unfortunately, I think the parents become road kill in the process.

I'm sure it is breaking your heart to have him gone. Easier said then done but try to find opportunities to connect. Will he go out to dinner with you? Do your best to keep in touch. But then find some hobbies that make you happy and keep you busy.
deleted_user
deleted_user
it would seem that 16-17 yr old boys just suck. lol mine is about to make me lose my mind. I just read Lexisgirl's post and had the brief wish that i could send him to live with his bio-fatherwho disappeared when the boy was 7. >:( No dice there..
ginateresa
ginateresa
My 17 y/o moved out too. He couldn't handle living with me and my BiPolar 14 y/o daughter. However, he's blaming everything on me too. But, he does have it great at his father's. Dad lets him do whatever he wants. I ask him to visit every now and then. It's getting better, but there's still a strain on the relationship. Just know that they will understand better when they have kids. Except it sucks to have to wait that long. I agree with keeping your mind occupied. I have to do the same thing.
webber5824
webber5824
Lexisgirl you hit the nail on the head! Your comment: "Unfortunately, I think the parents become road kill in the process" should be made into t-shirts and chanted by every parent on this earth! I am going to be quoting this comment from now on....I think because they are struggling between dependence and independence, they lash out at those they love the most (even though it sure doesn't feel like love to the one they are lashing out at). I do not wish to get older quickly, but I do look forward to looking back when my daughter is 50!