Kids don't need our constant or perfect attention. Can you pull it together for 15 minutes? Dedicate just that small amount of time to listening to her...really listening. Not offering advice, not fixing. Not really doing anything other than just listening to her. Follow HER lead for 15 minutes.

***When all else fails with my kids....I rub their feet. I'm not kidding. I give good foot rubs. Turns out teenagers are human too and like them. Sometimes they don't talk, and sometimes they spill their guts while I rub. If nothing else, I will remember how little and tiny and cute their feet once were.***

Each kiddo is different, but do you think she's at the place yet where you can let her know that you wish you'd been able to be more supportive and explain about how your anxiety and depression affect you? That will give you a chance to let her know that you do care (this is part of what will eventually keep her from being estranged).

Relationship building or repair can take time. Don't give up if things don't improve in 5weeks or 5 months. Older teens go through a phase where they need a little more distance from their parents before they are ready to relate to them closely as co-adults who they care for and respect, but aren't obligated to comply with.

Being available when you can, and trying to see things from her perspective, and communicating that to her will help in the long run.

I haven't been a perfect parent either. I try to make sure my child knows that no one can be perfect, even though it's good to try to do right and be good, etc. It's important for kids to know that imperfect people are valued cause one day they'll figure out, if they haven't already, that they're not perfect either, and they'll need to know they're still loved :)

Best wishes. Hang in there.

Your heart does care for your daughter, you love her is a fact that is what matters the most. I am sure she knows deep down in her soul even though she is not expressing it or refuses to believe that. I often tell my son I am not a perfect mom even a "bad" mom in his eyes at times, but my love for him is not optional because he was born through my flesh body having my own blood... We don't get to choose love our kids or not, we just naturally love them, because of our own brokenness we may not know how or able to show that love in the way they needed, but we do love. I can see your love for your daughter and desire finding ways to earn her back. Yes you have love in side of you and you will be able to express it in the ways help her understand and forgive. I often ask my son for forgiveness, I am sure he does see the pain I felt after I blew up things, our kids understand we are not designed to be perfect, but they want justice for they perceived unfair treatment, asking forgiveness from our children showing we are really sorry, that has been a way helping myself get better and coming out of the negative self condemning cycle. Taking care of ourselves is not selfish, I believe you dear friend, Love never fails!

Teens need to pull away from parents to find their own identity. Even the perfect parent has teens that hate them. It is okay. You are a good person!