Parenting Teenagers (12-18) Support Group
This community is focused on the joys, challenges and concerns faced by parents of teenagers (12 to 18 year olds). The major areas of child development include: physical development, perception and sensory development, communication and language development, cognitive development, emotional development and social development.
I just recieved my first phone call from the principal's office. And I don't know what to do. My son and five of his buddies are picking on this kid about his appearance. I thought I raised my son to treat all people with compassion, and not to judge them on appearance, but we are all equal. Well, I know this is a new group of friends and a new school, and a new beginning for him. I am not to happy with his choice he made. If he was in front of me right now I know anger would take over. So my question here is what do I do? How do I approach this situation? I feel this is not a little thing, and I am not going to tolerate it. Please help me I have 6 hours before we both are together.
deleted_user
I don't think I will make this within your time frame but...My policy has always been "If you have trouble at school, it carries over to a consequence at home". My son was involved with a situation similar to this as a 4th grader. What we did back then was to talk to the boys' parents about the situation. Then we set up a time where we (my son and I) actually met up with the parents and the boy. The 2 kids HAD to be around each other...I don't think it was too pleasant for my son. He never did anything like that again! I'm not sure how old your son is...maybe just making him apologize over the phone or in person would get the message across.
deleted_user
I like Katis2home advice. I always had similar consequences for my son. I would make situations very uncomfortable for him so that he would think twice about doing it again. But also, don't be too hard on yourself, most parents teach their kids to treat people with compassion and not to judge.... but teenagers are teenagers and they are bound to do it at some point. I would just lecture my son and give him scenarios by putting him in other people's shoes... paint the picture and then ask them how they would feel about it. Also, it may not sink in now, but with consistency, it will sink in later!
eileenR
THanks for the advice. We calmly talked about the situation. And I believe he learned the lesson. What he told me was he apologized right at lunch to the boy. he didn't realize it hurt him. The kid also teases my son for being short. SO he thought it was for fun. He doesn't even hang with the other boys. SO it was all separate issues. The scare of being in principal office and signing a paper, was trauma enough. I hope next time he will think before he speaks.
deleted_user
You let it pass, and don't make it an issue, don't sweat the small stuff.
deleted_user
I am sorry I don't agree with with possitive there that it is the small stuff. Kids that bully other kids are setting the stage for things like Columbine high school in Colorado. Kids picked on other kids they thought of as nerdy. Well the so called nerdy ones became murderous and suisidle. That is not small stuff.
deleted_user
I think its important for kids to learn compassion. Bullying is not small stuff. It scars kids for life.
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