No your not acting unreasonable. At 18 it is time he has a job. For extra money and to teach him some responsibility. I am not saying that he is irresponsible in anyway. When my son wanted a car at 16 when he got his licence he was not allowed to get it till he got a job and could pay for the gas, insurance, ect. He has had that same job for over a year and half. He goes to school, works part time a couple of days a week, and plays on the soccer team. It taught him a lot the value of money. It was the best thing for him. He also doesn't have time to get into trouble...LOL. Anyway good luck and take care.

My son is also 18 with a long distance relationship. He does have a job, they do talk all the time and both go to school. They trade off who travels for visits. They pay for their own trips and dating expenses. We like her, but we wish it wasn't so serious this young. Her parents adore our son....and so his visits are welcome. What do her parents think of the relationship?

During the past year, their relationship has matured but they still have their own circle of "other" friends and interests. It sounds like this is missing from your son's life? Is his academic and sports or volunteer workload so demanding that he can't work or are there not many opportunities for teens where you live. Either way, a job or volunteering or a way to earn the plane fare seems reasonable to me. Good Luck!

He does volunteer one day a week for an after school church program working with k-5th graders. And he goes to boy scout meetings once a week. He does have a few friends at school and he goes to the movies with them once every couple of months or so. But that is about it. Yes, he should have time for a job. There are several fast food places around here. There was one he really wanted to work at that he applied to. He didn't get hired there, so he quit trying.

I do think that at 18 he should be working he is an adult now.Really he should be funding his own trips away and definitely by the sounds of it giving you money towards the telephone bill.I guess there's nothing wrong with a long distance relationship but the chances are it wont last being too difficult to maintain. Does he make friends easily? Perhaps try to encourage some more social groups in his own area.

Funny thing, most of his friends at school are girls. He doesn't so much have friends as he has a "harem". I wish he would find someone else. Not that we dislike her, but....

No way you are being unreasonable. Speaking from experience, I was the girl with a long distance love affair as a teen. I am so thankful, my parents made me work in order to see the guys who lived miles away. It taught me responsiblity. And it also showed me that being a part takes two for it to work. So stand your ground. And make him work to get the money.

Marah,

I liked your profile.
I think you were very resonable to tell him that he needs to save some money. did he ever worked? Maybe tell him that if he wants to see her lots he needs to work and have money to see her more.
I think a long distance relationship is hard, very hard.
My dad did something for me when I was a kid that helped me lots to appriciate money . He said to me, I'll match every money you are going to save. He went with me to the bank ( I was 14, I think) opened an account on both our names and said, every couple of month I'm going to double the money you have there. it worked!!! it worked great.
I do this now with my kids. I tell them, If you save some money for a goal and you show commitment and dedication, I'll give you that amount as a reward.
My daughter is now 18 years old, she finished high school at the age of 16 and managed to save so far about 20,000$. She is amazing. When she was 12, she had about 1000$ savings and never used it (I could give her everything she wanted and she didn't want much) so I went to her and said, dear Eden, my love, you need to take 100$ from it and have fun with it or, I'll take that money from you (I was running the account) and she refused, I said to her, I love you very much, but I don't want you to think that collecting money for the sake of collecting money is a desired behaviour. It took her over a month to think of how is she spending that money, she bought herself some clothes and went to have a hair cut. It was great, she is saving lots but she is also enjoying her money.
Try talking to him about having his own money and control over what he wants, it might work as a motivation for him.

Good luck
Ronit Baras