Parenting Teenagers (12-18) Support Group
This community is focused on the joys, challenges and concerns faced by parents of teenagers (12 to 18 year olds). The major areas of child development include: physical development, perception and sensory development, communication and language development, cognitive development, emotional development and social development.
I have trouble figuring out limits, and it seems like a lot of my days are figuring out which are the ones to enforce and which ones to just let go of. I have been through it all before with one of the worst teens you could have in terms of dangers and risks which has skewed my judgment.
My 16.5 year old wants me to let him sleep over other kids and his brothers house every other weekend and I feel like I'm giving him a free pass to do things he shouldn't. Do other people just allow this?
On a good note, I have a rule that if I call him he has to answer and he has to call me when he's in for the night and he always does. I have caught him maybe slurring his words on occasion (hard to tell over the phone) but he assures me he knows his limits and the dangers and is being careful.
His brother is 22 and seems to be more responsible lately but I have always kept him away from his brother (good or bad on my part). The reason is he is real bully, in fact I had feared for his brothers life at some points in his teen years. Real bullies can be scary as they can manipulate you into things you wouldn't normally do to drag you to their level. Also he is 2 years past an opioid addiction and while I know he is past that, I don't know what else he may be a bad influence for.
They make me feel so guilty for saying no....I have allowed it for 2 weekends now but I don't really want it to be a habit.
My 16.5 year old wants me to let him sleep over other kids and his brothers house every other weekend and I feel like I'm giving him a free pass to do things he shouldn't. Do other people just allow this?
On a good note, I have a rule that if I call him he has to answer and he has to call me when he's in for the night and he always does. I have caught him maybe slurring his words on occasion (hard to tell over the phone) but he assures me he knows his limits and the dangers and is being careful.
His brother is 22 and seems to be more responsible lately but I have always kept him away from his brother (good or bad on my part). The reason is he is real bully, in fact I had feared for his brothers life at some points in his teen years. Real bullies can be scary as they can manipulate you into things you wouldn't normally do to drag you to their level. Also he is 2 years past an opioid addiction and while I know he is past that, I don't know what else he may be a bad influence for.
They make me feel so guilty for saying no....I have allowed it for 2 weekends now but I don't really want it to be a habit.
I think you probably have your hands full. I think you need to determine what really matters to you and what is a "nice to have". My teen just turned 18. He started really testing limits at 16. Missing curfew by 15 minutes was something I could bend on. Not coming home at all was not.
Hang in there.