Parenting Teenagers (12-18) Support Group
This community is focused on the joys, challenges and concerns faced by parents of teenagers (12 to 18 year olds). The major areas of child development include: physical development, perception and sensory development, communication and language development, cognitive development, emotional development and social development.
I have a 14 year old girl who when she doesn't get her way either self harms or lies child services about abuse, Yes she does have some mental illnesses but this only seems to happen when she does not get what she wants most recently she went out of her window in the middle of the night and was at a boys house, I am not sure if the parents of the boy caught her there or what but state police were called and she told them that my husband was sexually abusing her the next day when child services came to pick her up to be interviewed and examined she refused to talk about it and her story has changed 3 times since then, she also wanted to go to a foster home because she says that she hates me and anything is better than being near me, so now she is in foster care does anyone know what would make her act this way
Is she happier now that she is in foster care? If she is happier, I would let it be.
If you can (if you are allowed), just make sure to do things to let her know you still love her and care for her: write her letters, send her care packages, visit with her, whatever you can think of to do. Even if she acts like she doesn't want you to visit or whatever, it's important that you at least try, and keep trying.
I was very angry at my mom for a long time (I still am, actually - at age 40!) and one of the things I'm angry about is that she never tried. It's like she just neglected me, gave me up, gave up on me, and never even tried to fight for me. It makes a daughter feel like her own mother doesn't love her, and that is a devastating way to feel. So whatever your daughter does - just keep being there for her. Hopefully eventually she'll realize you do care and that you are there for her no matter what, which is what a daughter needs from her mom. Don't be absentee neglectful mom. I would recommend like making it a point once a week to check-in in some way, whether that is a phone call or a visit or dropping off flowers for her at her foster home - just whatever you can think of. And don't worry about her behavior if it is ugly towards you. That's her hurting, and she feels safe directing it at you because she knows you'll love her regardless.
Now they have sent her to another part of the state to a group home to undergo testing but child protective services isn't really telling me much.
If you have anything of hers - like a favorite piece of clothing, bedding, stuffed animal, or something that was hers from her room, photographs, etc. You could include some of those things in the care package. Make copies of the photos - you keep the original and send her the copy. She sounds angry and you wouldn't want to lose the only copy of a precious photograph if she rips them up.