One thing that has seemed to work with both my grandson (whom I have raised due to my daughter's disability) has been to tell them that hey are responsible for their body and mind. I do find with my grandson who is fairly highly gifted and in an Independent Study Program in High School that he needs and appreciates my scheduling. I do check all homework due and write a schedule for him. He then decides what hours in the day he will work on a particular assignment. I try to give him a note card for each day of the week with assignments due before bed time (this includes any copy work at Kinkos). Often he will work ahead of schedule because he wants an evening free. If he has difficulty he comes and renegotiates his schedule. This has worked extremely well and I overheard him recently telling another parent how to schedule work for a child who procrastinates. This often means going on line to view homework due if possible and going through notebooks and calenders. I personally think that if a child is able to master his or her work in a timely manner no one should be going through their work unless asked. Otherwise, I personally view it as a caretaker's right.

I'm sorry but I have to respectfully disagree with the other poster depending on the age of her grandson...

To micromanage a student in high school will not do him favors. Who will be there to micromanage him while he's in college? At some point you have to cut the strings and let them make their own mistakes. Just set the rules for you, such as I won't make trips to Kinkos as a last minute request. I won't leave the house after XXX time because you need me to (unless it's a dire emergency). If you have projects due and you know about them ahead of time start on them the day you know about it, set a goal to get it done 5 days before it's due. That way if you think of new things you can adjust the project. Much like the other poster, but instead of micromanaging just give him these suggestions. What he chooses to do with the information is then up to him. But you should not be doing the footwork or doing a timeline for him. You said yourself your son is smart. Tell him if he wants to go to college he will HAVE to qualify for scholorships because there is no money there that you can give. If he's smart he likely already knows that.

I also wanted to add that my son's school has a "parent portal" I can go online and see grades, and sometimes tests or projects that are coming up... I check it daily to see if there's a test just so I can note in my head if he brought his book home to study..

He gets grounded for 7 days if he makes a D or lower on a test or paper. 2 weeks if he doesn't bother to turn in a paper and using the portal I can see when his grades drop and can evaluate if something was going on with him during that time, or if tutoring is needed. My son is also a last minute'r does the bare minimal to get by, but is learning quickly that standard is being raised. If he gets a D on a report card he will be grounded from his car, and his paychecks will go directly into the JOINT savings account and he is not allowed to touch that money. Yet he will still be paying insurance on his car.

At any rate, consequences yes, micromanage no. In my opinion. I mean I understand as mothers/parents we want our kids to do well, we want them to make good choices, and we want them to be responsible. But we have to let them make their own mistakes. Of course not letting it get out of hand.

Good afternoon. I can relate to your dilemma. my ds is almost 17 and never has had to make any real academic effort at all and always has a's and a plusses in the highest courses offered. i remember a guidance counselor once telling me that the reason my ds approached his assignments last minute was because that was the only challeng it presented. the work is always so easy, so the challenge lies incompleting it last minute. hope this helps....cmm

Thinking about Jody0385 response. I do think with gifted children, organizational skills really tend to lag behind. There are many studies to back this up. I think to micromanage and increasing dependency is doing the teenager disfavor for his or her future. However, personally feel my grandson does not organize in an optimal way. He spends too much time on projects that grab his interest and then is inclined to have to stay up too late to master what is due. I feel by reviewing and assisting with the scheduling each week he is learning how to do this in a more efficient manner and gradually and gives much or most of the input into the scheduling. I feel, at least for myself, that it is extremely important to schedule for the week.
I especially believe that if the teenager must be financially responsible for his college, he or she must make a 100% effort to achieve to the highest potential in high school. Sometimes letting the teenager make his or her own mistakes may have far reaching negative effects, especially if one is looking at scholarships. As a social worker I knew of one foster parent who did not assist a teenager with transportation for his SAT because he did not get up in time to take the bus (It happened that this teenager had a serious personal problem and had not told his foster parent). He lost a whole EOP scholarship due his foster parent's stance as time limits for the date the SAT was enforced..There can be a variety of reasons children don't want to face reality. This needs to be looked at closely and considered in my opinion. I guess I have come to a conclusion that there is a fine line between allowing a teenager to make his or her own mistakes and intervening. Perhaps this line is different for each child.

I have to say I agree with Jody. My son is also 14 (15 in 4 weeks). He has never made anything but A's on his report card. However, his organizational skills are non-existent, which makes me crazy. His handwriting is like a 5 year olds but has always been in the gifted programs. He is a procrastinator and says he does his best work under pressure. I have talked to him about this but it seems to work for him. We talk about taking pride in your work and responsibility for your grades.
The point is.....he is 14 and is now developing self-reliance. I can't imagine writing out a schedule for him. He's not 3 anymore.

i realize that I had written about a schedule for my grandson that it may have not aplpied at all to the original post. My grandson is actually in an independent study program so he is not in a regular high school where he is given work on a daily basis at all. The program allows him to attend college classes early, but was designed for students who are unable to attend regular school. The primary caretaker works in tandem with a teacher he meets with only an 15 minutes twice a week although he does take tests at the site where he sees his teacher. My grandson had life threathening asthma with serious side effects to the meds he must take With out this arrangement he is able to complete work in a daily session rather than the 50+ he was absent. His health is normalizing and thankfully he is up-to-date with his classes for his age.. Since he designated "gifted" it has been up to us to guide him through some of the work. The only other choice we had under the American Disabilities Act was, according to the school district, to have him attend regular classes for the average student with only "c"'s required. Neither his counselor, I or my grandson wanted this limitation. For example he had no math teacher last year, but because I have a certificate allowing me to teach, I had to teach him math and assign the homework. What I do with is scheduling is expected by his school and I was required to sign documents regarding this as I am his legal guardian. I feel I was perhaps out-of-turn, believing this scheduling may work for a parent whose child attends a traditional high school. Now that I think about it a regular teacher normal assigns scheduled homework due which is, in a sense what I do.

Ah... Lacudia that does make sense... As a teacher/mom for your grandson, it's no longer micromanaging in the sense I originally thought/pictured.

My 14 soon to be 15 year old struggles with this too. I don't micro-manage. I work at a university. It's patently ridiculous how many parents try to register their own children and manage their schedules in university.

It does not fly! With Canada's new privacy laws we are NOT allowed to release ANY students personal information to ANYONE but the student. PERIOD!

In three years my son will be of University age and I will NOT have any access to his university records. If I micro manage him at this point he'll take advantage of his freedom when he gets it.

I too set down limits of what I will and will not do to help him out. Last minute runs to copy stores are out. He can eat the consequences and his consequences can be dire! I've made him write notes of apology for disrespecting his teachers by turning in papers late!

But I can't spend all my time chasing his assignments down. That's his responsibility. If he screws up, he'll have to live with the consequences.

Not every child is meant to go to college. Sometimes trade schools are an option, other times working a minimum wage job a year or two convinces them to find a way to fund their selves through University works.

I've seen too many kids whose parents tried to micromanage them through University go hog wild!

You have to respect who they are, how they best learn and that they may be different then you (or the same, REMEMBER?)

Oh, DR, I empathize with you. I had a smart teen and I've considered it - a gift and a curse. Many children like this are used to things being easy. They've usually not have had to try as hard as others in many areas. Organization is what needs to be taught (many can't teach this skill) and encouraged, with a consequence for not doing so. And usually they learn fast, even with a moderate consequence/punishment that is consistent. Same for procrastination. These are usually not related to intelligence. Though many think they are, and they'll do fine in all/most areas --- not true. Good Luck.

i also have a 14 yo son and I often call him my blond child ( sorry not meant to offend anyone:) But he has two older sisters taht have done very well in school. And when I discuss school work w him I always keep his sisters out of the equation. What Im trying to say is that boys are different about schoolwork than girls. YOu should try to step back and look at the whole pic of your son. What are his strengths??? You say lthat you dont like his writings but it sounds like hes very creative???
i used to work at our hs in the learning support classroom and 8 out 10 students were male. Most of them were just bored about achool and their grades. Chin up mom and donnt be too hard on lyourself or your son!! Good luck

PS Be happy and proud taht he is smart!!!

This sounds awfully familiar (I was a teacher of teenage kids, many of them being taught outside of 'normal' classes because of their above average capabilities), but also because I was that procrastinator! And still am so as Jody says, tackling it now will definitely be the key to a more productive and happier future. Both procrastination and poor time management do seem to be related to above average intelligence, and is witnessed way beyond school years. But if your son believes his grades improve with procrastination, there may be a clue there as to why he does it. One of the reasons I always left my projects 'til the last minute was because I always felt I'd know that little bit more by the time I started it. Rather than being unwilling to begin because of 'laziness' or poor time management, he may actually be anxious about his ability or believe he is not ready to 'commit' his ideas to paper, and only when the failing grade for non-completion looms, does he feel compelled to begin. So too the 'acceptance' of lesser grades - rather than being a 'enough is good enough foe me' attitude, it may be a hint of preparation for not doing as well as hoped - a classic anxiety coping mechanism. In other words, he can console himself with "If I HAD have started it earlier, I WOULD have done better, and therefore don't need to worry so much about future assignments because I CAN always start that earleir". A perfectionists tactic that's often misread, I've found and most perfectionists are that way through anxiety rather than work ethic. I may be way off base, but just something else to consider.

Wow, abixx I don't think you are! It's kind of me own personal thinking too. But how do you get your child out of that rut?

Perfectionism sucks! I once skipped a University exam cause I was sure I wouldn't pass it. I got 4 A's and one F that term cause I didn't write the final.

I don't want that for my son!