Parenting Teenagers (12-18) Support Group
This community is focused on the joys, challenges and concerns faced by parents of teenagers (12 to 18 year olds). The major areas of child development include: physical development, perception and sensory development, communication and language development, cognitive development, emotional development and social development.
It looks like my son is going to fail his HS English class in summer school, despite his earlier statements that he was not going to fail again. I'm convinced that he *wants* to fail.
Without going into a lot of detail (see my journal for that), I've done everything I can for him. The teachers have done everything they can for him. He's been tested, a program is in place. I've issued consequences, threats, motivations, tried to talk to him about it, brought him to counseling & nothing has made him want to do the work that needs to be done. I've prayed on my face, cried myself to sleep at night, read every book there is on teens, ODD, anger, etc. It seems even God can't turn him around. Isn't God supposed to be all-powerful?
(Important to note that drugs/alcohol is NOT a factor here; I'm certain of that.)
All I want is for him to graduate high school. Any hopes I've had for more in the past have been demolished, in spite of his intelligence. I wish he would want more for himself, but he is not at all willing to do any work.
I know I can't change him, though I've tried. I know my world & my happiness don't rest on all this. However, I am so sad that my heart aches. What can I do to make the hurting stop? Or not hurt so much?
Without going into a lot of detail (see my journal for that), I've done everything I can for him. The teachers have done everything they can for him. He's been tested, a program is in place. I've issued consequences, threats, motivations, tried to talk to him about it, brought him to counseling & nothing has made him want to do the work that needs to be done. I've prayed on my face, cried myself to sleep at night, read every book there is on teens, ODD, anger, etc. It seems even God can't turn him around. Isn't God supposed to be all-powerful?
(Important to note that drugs/alcohol is NOT a factor here; I'm certain of that.)
All I want is for him to graduate high school. Any hopes I've had for more in the past have been demolished, in spite of his intelligence. I wish he would want more for himself, but he is not at all willing to do any work.
I know I can't change him, though I've tried. I know my world & my happiness don't rest on all this. However, I am so sad that my heart aches. What can I do to make the hurting stop? Or not hurt so much?
Have you talked to the counselor of what is next? What options are there now?
I would also let him know that High School graduation or a GED is mandatory (he will have such a hard life without it) and what is his plan.
Take a deep breath. Things work out. Maybe not how we would prefer but they do work out.
He thought he was going to do his school work on his own time, come home on his own time as well. He went from an anverage to slightly above average to failing.
I took his social life away from him. I enrolled him in a at home computor based school, he did his work better.I even threatened him with sending him to a boarding school if he did not comply. I got his rules of the house under control again. Because he didn't want to be sent away for his education.
The following year I re-enrolled him in his high school and he did just fine, graduating this last june while turning 18. He kept his girlfriend, whom accepting has been a great issue to overcome, but he and her are going off to different colleges now. So who knows where that will end up taking that relationship. I did have the no sex till your married talk with both of them., and her parents in front of all. I think they all agreed after I had to go over a few times prior and expose certain behaviors that the girlfriend had that no one knew about. They the parents curbed these behaviors as well, but I was certainly not liked for a while.
I know it seems like God is not at work in your son right now, but you have instilled it in him. But God is in there, it may be only when he is older he reflects back on this.
My son has kept his virginity because god is still in there somewhere so he has said. I am proud of that, his morals from those teaching have overidden the peer pressure effect.
I had to let go a little bit and let him do it on his own, making the mistakes he made. But he has came out for a visitation this summer showing a more responsible grown young man with many great atributes.
Best of luck to you.
If that was the case we would not have suicides, and acoholics and other so many dysfunctional people in todays society.
I believe it all would be preventable if actions , sometimes drastic ones are taken to prevent these issues. That may be the only way to get a young adult to successfully function in todays society, is to make a drastic decision for them.
I am glad those days are over with, and its getting them through college that I have to keep at them about now..but they are doing it...My daughter got her aa in may and my son graduated police academy at 19, awaiting to be 21.. so he is working instead. rethinking his career because he is with a major company.. police forces are laying off right now..