Parenting Teenagers (12-18) Support Group

This community is focused on the joys, challenges and concerns faced by parents of teenagers (12 to 18 year olds). The major areas of child development include: physical development, perception and sensory development, communication and language development, cognitive development, emotional development and social development.

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/ Parenting Teenagers (12-18) Support Group

Don't know what to do differently

momenttaker
momenttaker
My Son's counselor wants to quit. She didn't exactly say that, just that nothing she is trying is working and he just isn't receptive.

Oh, he's doing better overall in my opinion, but he is ODD and has issues with control, never mind that he is also depressed and has had issues with cutting and suicide. Maybe he needs a different counselor. Maybe he needs a full-fledged Psychologist. Maybe everything that he is right now we're going to have to live with until he turns 18 or 19 and moves out on his own.

I just really need someone who has been through what he is going through to tell me what it is he is going through - what worked, what didn't, or at least that what we are doing is eventually going to pull through.
lexisgirl
lexisgirl
My son was cutting and talking suicide. I changed counselors and luckily, we found one that helped. It is a long trail and difficult but it is worth sticking with it. It is possible he needs an anti-depressant.

I found a counselor that specifically works with suicide and self harming teens. He held my son accountable for his thoughts and actions. My son used to blame everyone else and that lead to his cutting and "victim" attitude. Luckily, my son was open to the idea of a counselor and feeling better. I think that is half the battle.
fotog
fotog
I haven't had the same issues personally, but I've struggled with depression and anxiety since childhood. And one thing I've learned is that therapists are human, and often flawed. I've had a few great ones, some meh ones, and several really bad ones. Because I've always gone to interns or people starting out, they often leave to work somewhere else after only a few months or a year, which is why I've had so much experience with so many. So, I just want to urge you and your son to not give up - keep searching for the right person. And, if possible, find someone who uses a specific kind of therapy for people like your son who seem resistant. I think it has the word "dialectical " in the name. There are many therapists and psychologists who believe some people are unsavable, but there are some more modern ones who don't agree, and are willing to work with, and not give up on, those people. They're the therapists who use the dialectical type therapy.
momenttaker
momenttaker
Thank you to you both - this is both encouraging and helpful.
bmom80
bmom80
Whatever you do please don't drug and medicate your child. Cutting and suicidal claims are plees for attention. Clearly he is struggling with something that he doesn't know how to verbalize or even understand. Do not give up on him. My guess is something traumatic has occurred that he cannot handle alone and he is scared to address....There are great programs out there for boys like him....And I just looked at your profile and see you are in UT. SOOOOO many great programs out there!!