Parenting Teenagers (12-18) Support Group
This community is focused on the joys, challenges and concerns faced by parents of teenagers (12 to 18 year olds). The major areas of child development include: physical development, perception and sensory development, communication and language development, cognitive development, emotional development and social development.
Story in a nutshell: Son has been engaging with pot. I can't tell how much -- if at all anymore. I am confused. I am seeing behavior, however, like by 2nd born..when he had depression. He has a short temper, cries easily, throw things... Part of the reason we are seeing this behavior is because his phone was turned off and we've limited his computer use. He isn't used to this. We also decided it probably wasn't a good idea to give him cash (which we've been doing for years) for his birthday. Since the pot was introduced..we've been advised to limit this --giving him $. I gave him some gift certificates instead..which didn't amount to the cash amount he's used to. That wasn't intentional...I was going to let him order things on line or pick some more things out. I wish I would have, at least, warned him. He is ADD...and doesn't like surprises. I wasn't thinking. I tried to explain it to him but he went "crazy" and left the house so upset ...crying... Oh...and he broke our front living room window. It wasn't intentional..just pushed back in the chair and it went through the window. I don't know if he is overracting ...if there is something else going on....if he does have depression - a side effect of the pot...OR I just totally messed up...since he is ADD and has a tendency to overract OR all of the above. Did I mess up? Or do I sound pathetic?
About the phone; is this somehow connected to his getting caught with pot? If not, perhaps you may want to reconsider the consequences since losing all social ties is going to be hard on everyone! Is there a compromise? For example, do you have a monthly list from the cell company of all calls in and out? Can you ask him to turn in the cell to you at the end of the night or when he is not in a public area of the home? If he is not completely grounded, can you have him call you from a land line/so that you can be sure that he is in fact at someone's home like he said he would be and or talk with the parent? (Mine policed him self because he did not want me talking to all of the parents....he chose to stay home. LOL)
Is there something he can do that is with the family/soccer. For example, can he referee games with any pay going into a joint savings account (he can only withdraw with your co-signature).
Finally, if no one else goes to counseling, go for yourself so that you have not only someone who is listening to you but can give you some informed feedback and perhaps coping strategies.
I wish there was something I could do for you....take it a day at a time and try to get some real rest. Take Care.
I don't think you messed up, nor do I think you are pathetic at all.
We have a soon to be 16 yr. old son with add/adhd. A few months ago we were snooping on our son's text messages (yes, we are evil parents) and discoverd he was using pot. We found the pot, destroyed the pot, ordered a drug testing kit, and now periodically drug test. We have told our son that if he ever tests positive, BANG, he is out of sports, in counseling, and we will have to consider rehab for him. He hasn't tested positive yet, and it seems to have worked for now. Good luck and God bless.