Parenting Teenagers (12-18) Support Group

This community is focused on the joys, challenges and concerns faced by parents of teenagers (12 to 18 year olds). The major areas of child development include: physical development, perception and sensory development, communication and language development, cognitive development, emotional development and social development.

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/ Parenting Teenagers (12-18) Support Group

daughter is out of control.. help plz

MrsPLB
MrsPLB
My 16 yr. Old daughter really gets out of control. She smarts off almost all the time gets disrespectful. When her father n I tell her she needs to start treating us better and respect us. She says no, she doesn't she's standing up for her self. She'll start screaming at us and being hateful we start yelling back, which doesn't help. We tell her to give us her laptop she's grounded from it. She tells us no she doesn't have to, its hers and she doesn't have to listen to us. She has literally stood in my way on the steps so I couldn't go to her room. I've told her to leave my room before because we both needed to calm down she's refused too leave. She'll follow me when I try walking away. She has gotten in my face screaming. If try to get around her and bump her she swears I pushed her. I tried counselling, she refuses. To go back saying its a waste of time. She can be so loving at times,then a switch flips and she gets like this. She makes great grades,shows teachers respect. I don't know what to do.
deleted_user
deleted_user
MrsPLB,

Are you sure we don't have the same daughter. Mine is also 16 and sounds like a clone of yours. I have had to lock my bedroom door after literally (gently) pushing her out to keep her out. This isn't exactly help in what to do of course but sometimes it helps just to know you are not alone.

bwisniewski1
MrsPLB
MrsPLB
I've had to gently push mine out as we'll...it helps knowing I'm not alone Ty bwisniewski1.
Blondie61
Blondie61
My daughter is going to be 18 in a couple of months. She does the same thing. If I try to get around her or nudge her out of the way, she calls it child abuse.

Oh, just wait till you all start getting the "When I'm 18" comments. She says she is moving out. I say good...start packing. She says if she lives here I can not tell her what to do. I say...my house...my rules. If you don't like it you better figure out where you are going to live.

They do it to flex their muscles and see what they can get away with. I admire her for standing up for herself, but I do not like the disrespect
ginateresa
ginateresa
OMG.....My 14 y/o is exhibiting some of these traits too. I would like to hear feedback from the others. However, all I can say for myself is....I won't back down. I won't let her rule me. My house, my rules. If she wants to claim child abuse then the state will take her and she'll be taken away into state custody. I try not to let my anger get the best of me....but.....MAN.....can she push my buttons!!
Any suggestions from the other side?
MrsPLB
MrsPLB
Were we like this growing up? I know I was a handful, but back then my mother would've smacked me. Not saying its rt or wrong, but their is a difference between a hard lesson and child abuse. But today most parents are afraid to disapline their kids at for fear of being accused of child abuse and kids using that to their advantage. A social worker had told a class that if parents yell at them it could be considered abuse. WOW....
ginateresa
ginateresa
FOR REAL???? Isn't that giving these kids leverage to "control" their parents????
deleted_user
deleted_user
I was so drained mentally that I literally was looking at leaving my family because of my daughter. I placed her into a teen treatment home and it did help, and we are working day by day. I feel the pain... big hugs.
MrsPLB
MrsPLB
It doesn't help that one minute her dad agrees she's out of control and we need to do something, then the next he doesn't see a problem and makes excuses for it.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Gina Teresa hit the nail on the head when she said,

FOR REAL???? Isn't that giving these kids leverage to "control" their parents????

The answer is Yes! These whacky laws made about child abuse has created the little cocky attitudes in kids today. I wish I could be a fly on the wall when the people who made all them laws hear there grandkids tell them to go S - - - - themselves. Then they will realize what they have done.