Parenting Teenagers (12-18) Support Group

This community is focused on the joys, challenges and concerns faced by parents of teenagers (12 to 18 year olds). The major areas of child development include: physical development, perception and sensory development, communication and language development, cognitive development, emotional development and social development.

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poochiegirl 08/28/2013

Where do i begin, I have a 19 yr old daughter that works part time,
I told her as long as she goes to high school she does not have to pay me anything for rent , she and will be finishing this year, she has A's and B's She plays
on her ps3 every free moment she has, talks to people on it. She does not have many friends so she does not go out very much, shes not interested in
activities (Iv'e tried) . She asked me if she can go to a (club) with
some people she knows, I do not know them. The last time i heard about clubs they sell alcohol, I live in florida. I do not want her to go, am i being unreasonable? She always seems to be stressed, she says she wants a boyfriend like other girls. I know if I tell her no to the club she
will blow up. I want to talk to her about whats bothering her mabe talk it through, she does not want to.
A little about me, married for 33 yrs, christian, no drinking , alcohol, or drugs. I love my daughter, I am disabled and do alot for her any advice would be kind, Thanks Mary.......

lexisgirl 08/28/2013

Luckily because she is 19, you no longer are legally responsible for her. Is she old enough to drink? Here you have to be 21 to drink and to get into a club.

I would ask her why she is interested in the club. If it is dancing with her friends, that might be fun for her. If she is hoping she will find a boyfriend, that is a misconception as most guys that hang in the clubs are looking for a one night stand.

I fear regardless of your opinion, she is going to do what she wants to do. This is where our parenting and teaching values comes in. By the time they are teens, we really have limited ability to control what they do and their values.

poochiegirl 08/29/2013

Yes she is 19, and wants to have a boyfriend desperately, My husband and I have had a talk with her about the rules many times,
going out to clubs is an option when she turns 20.

deleted_user 09/11/2013

Girls, my daughters 16, keep her on the straght and narrow, not a boy friend, her career, goals, plenty of time for boys

deleted_user 09/11/2013

Take caution. If she feels you do not trust her to make safe and responsible decisions, this may hurt your relationship. Also if you keep her on too tight of a leash she may totally rebel or worse, completely withdraw from social activities (which by the sounds of this she is already doing). I have seen girls under such strict rules that as soon as they were "free", they went buck wild and got themselves in a lot more trouble than they probably would have if they were given the ability to make age appropriate decisions regarding their lives, and make mistakes along the way. She is at an age of early adulthood and is learning who she is, what she likes and wants in life. Try not to restrict her curiosities too much, while also staying in your realm of beliefs, let her experiment with and experience life. :)
Hope this has helped

deleted_user 09/17/2013

It may sound harsh and believe me I'm not meaning to but she is old enough not to have you tell her where she can go, as long as shes respecting your house rules then leave it as that, let her go and have a life before it's too late for her to be accepted into the scene, I never got to go out but that was because I have a child, when I do go out to a club I'm not socially accepted in many places because of my age (I'm 30) I have a son but I wouldn't be telling him that he can't socialise in places i don't like.. Let her have her own life.. x

Bobby5000 09/18/2013

I think if you have a 19 year old, she is entitled to some fun and wants to fit in.

You have my sympathy, having raised three boys, these are tough years.

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