Parenting Teenagers (12-18) Support Group

This community is focused on the joys, challenges and concerns faced by parents of teenagers (12 to 18 year olds). The major areas of child development include: physical development, perception and sensory development, communication and language development, cognitive development, emotional development and social development.

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mere2 12/21/2014

Friday my son came home from school on Friday and i knew something was up almost right away. He was talking non stop and typically he is very quiet and takes a little time to unwind when he gets home. After he had been home a few hours he was still talking up a storm so I asked him if he had taken a stimulant and he denied it of course. There were times when I looked over at him and thought I saw his lips turn a purple blue color so I tried to take his pulse and it was really fast, looking back I should have taken him the ER and I think we are very lucky he did not have a heart attack or stroke. The next morning I made him take a drug test and it came up positive for amphetamines and that is when he told me that someone on the bus shared a drink with him that contained adderall!! What am I supposed to do know? He already has like no social life outside of school, partly because he has just never been super social and part because he lost my trust when he was caught with pot. He Am reluctant to involve the school because he will be graduating next year and I don't want to make trouble for him with his peers, I am setting up an appointment with a drug counselor in my area but I don't know what else I should do. When he was caught with pot he was grounded and had no phone internet or anything for weeks but that really does no good. He does his time and then goes back to doing what he wants to do. He is an honor student and follows all the other rules of the house( there aren't that many) he is punctual does not miss school and his teachers never have anything but good things to say about him.... Where is this coming from and what can I do to help?

mere2 12/21/2014

I really should have proof read that. Sorry

luny7998 12/23/2014

I am having a similar experience with my daughter. She was caught Sunday. First she said she never did anything wrong (yesterday) and today she tried telling me that it was an e-cigarette. (I had taken her iPod away from her for another problem I was having with her and while I was going through her messages I found the evidence). Apparently she thinks I'm stupid. I understand how you feel and I am so sorry you are having to go through this. Good luck to you my friend.

mere2 12/23/2014

Don't feel bad they all think we are stupid... I have taken his stuff away away for months before because that is what matters to him but eventually he gets it back and it obviously does not have the effect I wish it did or we wouldn't be back in this situation again. Beforehand it was smoking pot. He has been warned that if he gets his license we won't put him on our insurance and he wont have a car to use if he is using drugs . He has an appointment with a drug counselor on Tuesday. Hopefully he will go into it with an open mind and get something out of it. If he decides to ruin his life he can do it when he is out of my house.

jimlucky1 12/29/2014

I am having the same troubles with my daughter. I am considering demanding her to go to a open NA meeting and I will open up with a first step topic and the reason I am at the meeting is for her not me but for her and her new drug use. The group will shear how drugs and other substances have destroyed their live and has caused them self's and their loved ones a life of hell.

Or her drug addicted boyfriend will never be allowed in our home, I believe her should attend this meeting with the both of us. Its a long shot but teenagers respect and listen to their peers more than a adult or a counselor.

jimlucky1 12/29/2014

Correction I believe he the boyfriend should attend the meeting with us as well.

My father did this same thing for me as well and it did change my life and he did die a sober alcoholic. We eventually attended meetings together and it was a incredible bond that stayed with us till the day he passed.

God speed to you and your son!

chester630 12/31/2014

I would talk to him to make sure that it isn't something he plans to do again and why (ie you thought he could die and that may be a possibility) - if that doesn't go comfortably (like you suspect he may try again), I think the most important thing is fixing this problem as fast as possible by making it as uncomfortable as possible, even if it makes trouble at school. ie if trouble with peers is the answer to making it not happen again, that may be the best method. There are most likely ways not to put the peers on report. If school is where the problem is occurring I would alert at least someone like the nurse to ask what they suggest. Our school has a drug counselor that meets with kids that have been caught and it has been helpful. My son was caught at school, had to report his peers (via police examination), had to go to counseling, had friends parents that would no longer speak to him, and I know at least he will never bring pot to school again.

mere2 01/02/2015

Yeah we had the same issue last year (he brought pot to school) and had to meet with the drug counselor and all that stuff. I really like the drug counselor at his school but she is stretched very thin she is the only one and now she is having to see students at the junior high too. He had his first session with a drug counselor in my town on Wednesday and it seemed to go well and he agreed to see her once every 2 weeks. He was in a good mood after the visit I am hopeful it will help him to work through some things. He has been warned that if there is another incident that I will be at the school and he will be with me. This is so much harder than I ever anticipated.

chester630 01/27/2015

Well if he's doing so well in school who's to say you should change anything? He is almost an adult and going to be out on his own soon, eventually he is going to have to learn to make his own decisions. As for the Adderall I should point out they prescribe it to millions of people that take it daily, the fact that he took it once doesn't really mean anything, if anything it probably helps him study, not saying you should totally dismiss the situation but you should understand teenagers will be teenagers, and would you prefer he figures it out now? or in college with a bunch of other kids that havnt done it and try to get him to take as much as possible?

chester630 01/27/2015

This reply at 12:24 am did not come from me, I'm not sure who has hacked into my account, I may have to delete it.

bmom80 02/23/2015

There are sober high schools out there..have you explored those options? There is a program called Newport Academy that has locations in CA. NY, CT and Nashville, TN. I think they may have other locations but not completely sure. Hope this helps!

misha29 03/23/2015

I really should have proof read that.

autumnleaves50 03/24/2015

Please be careful if you think your kid might be doing adderall.It might seem like its mild and that alot of people take it.but its been my experience that it might be a stepping stone to meth eventually.Meth is also the popular drug of choice amongst college kids these days who need some extra energy or to do better etc etc also a weight loss idea for some.similar highs as they are both stimulants..meth is much more addictive and harder ive read to quit.Well thats my 2 cents.I have 3 boys.....so nip it in the bud while its still adderall.Take it seriously ...meetings are a great idea and trust your gut.If u think they r using,they probabaly are.

mere2 03/25/2015

Well since this happened in December things have been much better. I have drug tested him and keep drug tests on hand and he knows I will test him the second I think he is high. We also took him to a drug counselor, she met with him a few times and felt that he was being honest when he said he would not touch it again and she didn't not feel that she needed to see him anymore.we also talked about what would happen if he came home in that condition again. He is looking for a job now and still getting all a's in school, he has a girlfriend now who seems like a very nice girl. She has come to dinner with us a couple of times and we have met her parents. He never goes out anywhere on weekends with friends or any other night of the week for that matter so for right now anyway things are going well.

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