Parenting Teenagers (12-18) Support Group
This community is focused on the joys, challenges and concerns faced by parents of teenagers (12 to 18 year olds). The major areas of child development include: physical development, perception and sensory development, communication and language development, cognitive development, emotional development and social development.
I am having issues with a dear friend/cousin of mine. Let me start by saying that his other doesnt feel that he has any medical issues, mental health problems or other issues a child of this environment would have. He has been physically, emotionally and verbally abused by his mother and step father (and yes I reported it). There is a possibility of sexual as well but no hard evidence or signs.
In 2008 he had a massive episode of conversion disorder that placed him in the hospital with stroke like symptoms for a week after seeing a movie where the monster that looked like the father attacked the child. He is still healing from that due to a lack of mental health services.
Currently he has been doing wonderful. The entire family, including myself, went on vacation over the Thanksgiving holiday to Arizona. I did not spend as much time as normal with him. Upon returning, and a little during the trip, he has been hostile at me. Yelling, throwing things and not wanting to talk and just being in a very bad mood. These are not abnormal behaviors in a smaller dose with other family members, but he is worse now, beyond belief and even worse with me. He also says I say or promise things that I dont. Furthermore he wants to physical contact with me, we used to hug a lot, tickle, rub back in a supportive way-no more. He also claims I dont listen to him or hear what he says and says that I should know why he is upset or that he told me something (and maybe he did or didnt).
Last night he answered my phone (he does all the time) but told the caller I was not with him in the room and hung up. When I commented that I had been trying to get a hold of that person all week he blew up and became very angry. When I tried to hold him down (like we do when has an anxiety attack) he got worse and refused to communicate. I tried telling him it was did not warrant getting that upset. He was stand offish the rest of the night and worse this morning.
I took him to the park on the way to high school, again this is normal, it helps get in a good mood before school. It worked, he was very happy but when we got to school he demanded some gum, I thought he meant for tomorrow, he became very upset and belligerent, he said that I told him I was saving three pieces for him-I never said that. He left the van very pissed off. He is mad at me for things I have either not done, or things I have not done to his standard. We had talked things out in the past and I have tried to explain to him that I am not a parent, nor am I perfect. Ye
He is 15, but not yet hit puberty and is very short. This has bothered him greatly since entering high school. I have discussed this with him on several occasions. He has noticed certain physical signs that indicate puberty has finally started, about four weeks ago. (Prior to this, and around this time is when he refused 80-90 percent of all physical contact also taking health class and they have been discussing sex ed which makes me think he doesnt want a guy touching him-which is fine by me. He has witnessed a lot of gay/lesbian activity at school which bothers him.)
His outbursts really upset and I try my best not to get angry at him, but I at my wits end with him. He is so angry at it, it seems, and he appears to not care about everything I have done for him. I am his friend, his cousin and he used to know that I would do anything for him, just that he had to tell me. I cannot discuss it with the family, but the number one question on my mind is, could this be hormones with puberty? Please, anyone else have any similar issues?????
In 2008 he had a massive episode of conversion disorder that placed him in the hospital with stroke like symptoms for a week after seeing a movie where the monster that looked like the father attacked the child. He is still healing from that due to a lack of mental health services.
Currently he has been doing wonderful. The entire family, including myself, went on vacation over the Thanksgiving holiday to Arizona. I did not spend as much time as normal with him. Upon returning, and a little during the trip, he has been hostile at me. Yelling, throwing things and not wanting to talk and just being in a very bad mood. These are not abnormal behaviors in a smaller dose with other family members, but he is worse now, beyond belief and even worse with me. He also says I say or promise things that I dont. Furthermore he wants to physical contact with me, we used to hug a lot, tickle, rub back in a supportive way-no more. He also claims I dont listen to him or hear what he says and says that I should know why he is upset or that he told me something (and maybe he did or didnt).
Last night he answered my phone (he does all the time) but told the caller I was not with him in the room and hung up. When I commented that I had been trying to get a hold of that person all week he blew up and became very angry. When I tried to hold him down (like we do when has an anxiety attack) he got worse and refused to communicate. I tried telling him it was did not warrant getting that upset. He was stand offish the rest of the night and worse this morning.
I took him to the park on the way to high school, again this is normal, it helps get in a good mood before school. It worked, he was very happy but when we got to school he demanded some gum, I thought he meant for tomorrow, he became very upset and belligerent, he said that I told him I was saving three pieces for him-I never said that. He left the van very pissed off. He is mad at me for things I have either not done, or things I have not done to his standard. We had talked things out in the past and I have tried to explain to him that I am not a parent, nor am I perfect. Ye
He is 15, but not yet hit puberty and is very short. This has bothered him greatly since entering high school. I have discussed this with him on several occasions. He has noticed certain physical signs that indicate puberty has finally started, about four weeks ago. (Prior to this, and around this time is when he refused 80-90 percent of all physical contact also taking health class and they have been discussing sex ed which makes me think he doesnt want a guy touching him-which is fine by me. He has witnessed a lot of gay/lesbian activity at school which bothers him.)
His outbursts really upset and I try my best not to get angry at him, but I at my wits end with him. He is so angry at it, it seems, and he appears to not care about everything I have done for him. I am his friend, his cousin and he used to know that I would do anything for him, just that he had to tell me. I cannot discuss it with the family, but the number one question on my mind is, could this be hormones with puberty? Please, anyone else have any similar issues?????
It just seems to me that he needs professional care, mental health care. Why would he lie all those times? He feels that it is the only way to get emotional connectivity to you. He wants, demands a friend that won't judge him. You are probably the only person in his life he feels that he can count on. So hang in there. When he is hitting you, pushing you away, cussing at you, threatening you, those are the times in my life and all teenagers lives that you need that person the most.
Good Luck.
p.s. i was physically, emotionally and sexually molested for 8 years by my grandfather. I tried to tell. No one could or would hear. Listen to him. He is saying volumes in his actions.