Hey everyone! My son is 3.5. He is a very funny kid, and very sensitive. I have recently noticed that he becomes very defensive and angry when he accidentally hurts another child. For example, he was playing with a new child while waiting for a movie last week. They were running in circles in a safe, roped-off area. He accidentally ran into the other boy, knocking him down. The other boy cried. Finian felt really bad about it and became angry. He refused to apologize to the other boy, even though the other boy said, "it's okay, I know it was an accident." My son became petulant and refused to speak. Yesterday, he was playing frisbie with another boy in the park. He threw the frisbie, accidentally hitting the other boy on the nose. The other boy cried, but said he knew it was an accident. My son hid in the corner, although I explained that I knew what happened and that he was not in trouble. The other boy tried to get him to play again, but my son hit him in the chest and then threw a handful of woodchips at his face. I immediately took him out of the park, explained what he had done wrong, and told him that he could not watch any movies/tv for the rest of the day. His father spoke to him as well.

I could tell that my son was ashamed of hurting the other kid (in both instances), and then became really defensive about it. How can I help my son deal with embarrasment and shame and avoid the escalation? I don't hit my boy. If anything, I'm a little lax on the punishment. Honestly, I feel like I don't know what I'm doing and that I'm going to ruin his life if I can't figure out how to help him with these social interactions. Please help!