Parenting Preschoolers (3-5) Support Group

This community is focused on the joys, challenges and concerns faced by parents of preschoolers (3 to 5 year olds). The major areas of child development include: physical development, perception and sensory development, communication and language development, cognitive development, emotional development and social development. Join to share your stories and get advice.

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GZUSthug 02/26/2008

OK, SO I'M PRETTY MUCH A WEEKEND DAD, AND LATELY MY 4 YEAR OLD BOY HAS GONE WILD.

HE IS NO LONGER LISTENING TO ADULTS, OR HIS PARENTS FOR THAT MATTER, AND HE TALKS BACK, AND DOES WHAT HE WANTS TO DO, AND NOT WHAT IS ASKED OF HIM.

I HAVE BEEN ON THE SIDELINES, AND FAIRLY PASSIVE WHEN I HAVE NOTICED THE WARNING SIGNS BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT TO BE THE BAD GUY WHEN I GOT TO SEE HIM FOR SUCH A SHORT TIME(WAS 10 HOURS A WEEK), BUT NOW THAT I'M GETTING TO SEE HIM MORE AND GETTING ALONG WITH HIS MOM, I'M READY TO GET IN THE GAME AND 'LAY DOWN THE LAW'.

I WAS SPANKED GROWING UP, AND AM NOW VERY APPRECIATIVE TO MY DAD(ALTHOUGH HE'S DECEICED) THAT I WAS, SO THAT'S WHAT I KNOW.

WHAT ARE SOME LOVING DADDY 'TRICKS OF THE TRADE' THAT HAVE WORKED FOR YOU WHEN YOUR CHILDREN WERE YOUNG?

GZUSthug 02/26/2008

OR LOVING MOMMY 'TRICKS OF THE TRADE'

deleted_user 02/26/2008

Hey, good for you that you want to find out better ways of discipline. I was hit growing up and do not use that now either. My mom got me a book by th "Supernanny" which is great and practical-check it out and also her shows. I love her. What I do basically is approach kids with the idea that they constantly want attention-positive and negative. So I try to focus on rewards for good behavior and lots of praise. When they do something they should not do, I react as little as possible and put them in a thinking chair for 3 minutes for 3 year old (minute per year) to think about what they did. Make them stay in this, after they calm down I have them talk about what they did and apoligize and figure out a better way of handling it. Kids like discipline in a healthy controlled manner, it makes them feel safe and secure. Good luck thug

deleted_user 02/26/2008

It's really a phase of his little life he will grow out of it they try to find thier little Independence. just don't push him and help him to cont- to turn into the little man he is becoming. Throw a football with him, wrestle with him, play some gold fish and charades with him. Good luck.

deleted_user 02/27/2008

growing up I was never spanked.I was also never punished which in turn made me run wild all the way up till about 23 years old.lol.I did not believe in spanking when I had my daughter,but had come to find out that it does work if used properly.rewards for good behavior is a must and consistancy with disipline is also a must.Remember to always talk to him after a spank or time out or what ever form of punishment you use.Get down on your knees to his level and look him in the eye.Acknowledge his feelings of being mad or upset.Explain what he did was wrong and the behavior is unacceptable.ALWAYS TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM AND JUST BECAUSE HE ACTED UP THAT WILL NEVER CHANGE.Positive is the best way.But punishment must be done

deleted_user 02/28/2008

I was spanked, rarely, but only because I learned my lessons quick. However I do think that its a phase too. My boys are the same way (5,4) they get to a point where independence is a new thing and so they test you all over again. Just get ready to continue to expect the same things from him you always have, when he sees that his new All About Me life style doesnt work, he'll go back to what he knows does, being daddies good little boy. But it will take a bit of time, they have to try and try and push and push, and at 26 Im still trying my parents, its just a gut reaction. But I learned my place and he will learn his as long as he knows that Dad is King and just because he can jump on moms couch doesnt mean he can jump on dads.

GZUSthug 02/29/2008

THANKS FOR THE ADVISE. IT WORKED FAIRLY WELL FOR THE FIRST TRIAL RUN. THE 1-2-3 GOT IMMIDATE RESULTS, AND THE TIME OUT FOR A BIT WORKED WELL, AND ALLOWED ME TO KEEP MY COOL TOO...OOH, AND THE TAKING HIS VIDEO GAMES AWAY FOR BAD BEHAVIOR WORKED GREAT TOO.
THANKS AGAIN.

deleted_user 02/29/2008

Personally, I do not believe in spanking or hitting. Children learn by example... so if you hit your child, it would only be natural for your child to go to school and start hitting other kids.

I love the book, 1-2-3 Magic; Effective Discipline (they have this series for all age groups).. and it works wonders for my children.

Make sure you are firm with the boundaries and make sure your son knows what is ok and what is not okay. Be consistent and follow through consequences. When possible, I really try to make the consequences (punishment) fit the crime.

And of course, make sure you're spending quality, one-on-one time with your son and praise him for good behavior. For example: "I really liked how you used your manners at dinner tonight. Thank You."

Good Luck!

deleted_user 03/01/2008

Can someone explain what the 1-2-3-magic book/method is. I'm not a fan of spanking either...and time outs only go so far. P.S. - good for you GzusThug asking how to get more involved with you child as opposed to just jumping right to the spanking method - and congrats on becoming more involved in your little boys life! I also feel your frustration when the kids just wont listen and you're at your wits end (I have two boys - oh boy.)

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