Hey Missmom... I'm sorry to hear that your having a rough time. I don't mean to be nosey, but is there any male figures in his life? Uncle, grandfather, older cousin.. that can maybe take him or go with.you to practice so he has that male figure support that he see's the other children experiencing. Stay strong & positive, although its not always easy.

It sounds like he's just a little shy. You are doing the right thing - he clearly loves soccer, so its not like you're pushing him to do something he doesn't WANT to do...Perhaps when he gets there he might get a little overwhelmed. Especially if its usually just the two of you and he hasn't had a lot of experience with groups of kids. DO NOT feel guilty because of the male thing - he does have a "dad" - YOU! When you are single parent - you morph into a giant asexual being (you can tell by your lack of dates ;) ) There was a great article - that I can't find - in the Parents magazine a few months back about just the same thing. You were right about not leaving. I think it suggested trying another activity during the week that involves more kids - like at a library story book reading, where he doesn't really have to do much, and you CAN be right there, while you can't be on the soccer field. Then you can talk to him on the way there about seeing all his teammates, how he is part of team and they need everyone to play and are counting on him to try his best. Explain (when he's excited) where he should go when you get there and where you will be while he is playing. Let him know that you understand that he may feel shy and reassure him that it's normal, that it even happens to big people. Then elicit a promise from him that he will be a brave boy, and perhaps a small token reward for being "brave" - like ice cream afterwards or an extra bedtime book. When he has his fit, remind him that it was already discussed in the car. And you were right that you shouldn't have left - even If he cant participate he should stand on the sidelines and encourage his teammates (and watch them having so much fun). Enlist the coach (or aid) in your mission. Trust me - this is not the first time he has seen this. There was a child on my daughters cheer team that had the same reaction - all the parents did look, not because we pitied the child for not having a specific parent, but because we felt sorry for the parent, whom we were sure the child had begged to play, the mom has rushed from work, paid the fees, bought the uniform, etc. then would have a heck of time getting her out there. I was a volunteer coach then, so we worked it out that I would take the child and let her to leave. The girl participated fine afterward...and it only took two or three practices before she would come out to participate on her own (and mom could stay).

Thank you both for your replies. I feel so powerless.
As for male figures, he doesn't really have anyone who spends much time with him, what with our busy lifestyles. I work full time, so as Dink mentionned, I'm often rushing from work to get him to his activities. His grandfather and his uncle are his only constant male figures but a few hours per week during family visits is all he gets. His father visits a few times per month, we do not share custody. Nor do I want that to ever happen. Enough said.
As for talking to the coach, I sent him an email last night, he hasn't responded. I'm not sure what will come of it but I'm determined to get this right. He also takes swimming lessons once a week, the class is a big mixed one, so he's exposed to a large group of splashy children. He's squeemish with that at first too, but he loves it and always winds up all proud and smiley.
I like your suggestion about talking him through being part of the team, it never even occured to me. I'm gonna try that. Perhaps I could find some children's books about teamwork..
Thank you so much, I've been agonizing over this all dat.

So hard being a parent :(

We had a similar situation with our 3.5 yo and he has both parents. He also loves soccer but at his first soccer class he wouldn't participate. I told him I'll just go play without him and participated a bit, then I went and simply carried him onto the field. He actually liked that part - I think he was in between wanting to play and being unable to muster courage himself. While at the field I stayed next to him - other parents did this too - this is the class with smallest kids so parents are around. I talked him through the moves and cheered when he scored. We both had a great time. I think it will take at least 3-4 more times until he feels he can do it on his own. Do other parents in your class come onto the field? I think in my son's case he dislikes being left with a stranger (coach) alone even though I'm nearby. So it may not be just other children but the adult there making him anxious. If you can go with him onto the field this may help.