I went through this as well. My daughter was born when I was 23, and my fiancee was 24. He didn't cope well.
He was fine if she was fine, but at the first hitch in the road he turned tail and ran. She is 8 months old now, and it does get better. It's a big change for you, but you had time to come to terms with the changes your life was going to make as your baby grew inside you. For men, it's like one day they are baby-free and the next, tada, there's a little being that is so dependant and needs so much time. Everyone talks about the womans hormones after pregnancy, but I think the men have the worst hormones!
Sit and talk it out with him. I think the best cure may be giving it some time.
Also, one thing that has to happen to keep you both sane and happy, is date night. Even if it's only for an hour or two once a week or once every two weeks. You need time to be with just each other and not worry that the baby will suddenly burst out in tears.
Good luck!

are you sure youre not talking about my husband? lol. ive asked the girls at work and their husbands were the same. they couldnt wait for the baby to get older to play. we dont necessarily enjoy these times, but its what a mom does. ive had to leave my hubby with the baby ALONE on a few occasions and he is slowly being able to cope better. he used to tell to not get frustrated because the baby was crying when i was home by myself. he finally understood what i was going through when i got to tell him the same thing. things will get better: your little olivia will grow and he will learn to cope in the mean time.

I'm not sure how old your baby is; she looks young. My husband and I are both in our mid-30s and have been married 4 years, and we still struggle! I will say things were their worst when my daughter was about 6-16 weeks. He did some of what you describe and also would tell me how to do things and get mad if I didn't do them like he suggested. He saw her a total of 15 minutes a day during the work week, and I am with her all the time, so he didn't know what he was talking about. Anyway, it has gotten better. I still wish he would help more, but I can't make him unless I leave. Slowly try to give him more alone time with the baby. Start small and work up to several hours. Hang in there. Things will get better as life settles down and your baby gets older and easier to manage.

Okay, this is going to really sound like I am trying to bum you out but I honestly mean it to be encouraging! LOL
My husband and I are on our 3rd baby and dealing with the same things. It's rough when you have a new baby in the house but it gets better.
I was 24 & he was 21 when we had our first. I felt so young and unsure about being couple & parents. He was wonderful with our son when our son was content, but in the middle of the night if he was crying my husband would get so frustrated and give me attitude like I could fix everything and I should be able to handle it alone since he had to go to work in the morning. It was stressful on me. I felt like I was failing, like the pressure was on me alone to keep the house peaceful and keep everyone happy. It felt lonely.
We went from being this well rested couple with a clean house and well presented square meals served every night to being parents of a newborn... which means there are dishes piled in the sink, clean laundry piled on the couch, bags under your eyes, and you are lucky if there is meat and vegies cooked on the stove, forget about served up nicely on a plate with a salad!
We had our share of fights during that time, but it got better. My husband learned ways to soothe our son, and actually he started coming home from work & spending all his time with our son making me a little jealous! (I let it go because I knew it was for the best). He also learned that a mommy who got a break was a better mommy and a nicer person to live with! LOL
Unfortunately, these lessons are forgotten after the baby grows up, because we went through it again with our second five years later and we are going through it again now... seven years after #2!
Just remember, having a new baby is a huge adjustment. Right now us new mommies are dealing with hormone issues as our bodies recover from delivery and it takes time. Crying is normal, and venting and seeking help is extremely important! Most dad's don't start adjusting to parenthood during the pregnancy like us mom's do, so they are catching up. I hate to make excuses for them (especially since I am highly irritated with my DH right now! LOL) but men are so different from women. Dealing with the crying and the spit up and the diapers and the endless hours of rocking and walking the floor doesn't come naturally to them. We love our babies because we are mother's, men seem to need to find some bond or connection to help them love their baby enough to take the spit up or poop with a smile!

As for helping thing improve, seek out another young father who could offer some words of encouragement, support, and helpful tips to your partner. I have found that my DH is more open to advice from another man than from me (grr). If you can spend time as a couple with another couple that has a baby a little older than yours, your partner will see the other dad being an active part in the soothing & may start to play the part of caretaker because he wants to look good... (my DH is always a more patient dad around other people!).

Just keep in mind that these difficult days will pass and one day you will realize your family found the right groove.

Don't forget how lucky you are to be a mommy.... at night when I am ready to cry because I am so tired my body is aching to lay down in my bed for just 10 minutes and the baby is at the breast again as if I am a pacifier and I am sore and I am stressed because I know I have to be up in the morning to take my older kids to school I remind myself that this little baby will be 12 before I know it and right now I am lucky to be the person who comforts him, the person who feeds him, the person who he knows he can trust.... and he doesn't care if my arm pits are hairy, if my make-up is smudged all over, if my hair is a frizzy mess. All he cares about is that I love him and hold him and talk to him in a sweet soothing voice, even if I am repeating the shopping list so I don't forget it!

Having a baby is a complete life change. Its not about you or your husband at this point this baby needs both of you to be on the same page. No one ever said it was easy or you will never get e hand book on this is how to raise a baby. You both need to really sit down and express what you both want and what you both need and how these will create a better life for your family.
Its a matter of growing up and learning that babies cry and really sometimes for no reason and giving up is not the answer.
take turns handling it and ask for help when you can. If it doesn't get better now it will never get better.
ANd ending a relationship because a baby is too much is CRAP, so what leave you with a baby all the time and he never see her, yeah thats immature. so I am glad you are not ending it. Its your baby and you both need to really sit and talk about it. You only have one chance to raise them so its best you figure it out now.

best of luck

I went through it, too. I've actually gotten my husband to open up to me about what was going on in his head during the first few months so I do understand it a bit better. A lot of a man's nervousness around a baby comes from "Can I provide for this child?", "Will I be a good dad?", and when bub is crying "Did I hurt the baby?". Huge insecurity problems!!!

Men, in their childhoods, are practically taught to repress their emotions. I think my husband worded it- between the ages of 12 and 15, he had to learn how to cram all of his weaknesses into a tiny little box and hide it away where no one else could find it. Babies tend to stir up a lot of emotion in a man and that's where the inner conflict starts. If bad enough, it can lead to male PPD.

Communication is going to be a huge factor in your relationship. Make a pact between the two of you to cut back on the yelling. To help with that, adopt a blunt way of speaking to one another. Don't dance around issues (normally there isn't time with a baby in the picture) and get straight to the point. Try to avoid further arguments by not nagging or harping. Let the minor things slide by. If you need something done, DO NOT POSE IT AS A QUESTION. There a huge difference between "Honey, can you get this for me?" and "Honey, I need this. Please get it for me," . The latter does not give room for yes or no. Still, do not overuse it.

If you are busy with the baby, have him do other things around the house that you are unable to. When breastfeeding, its just not possible to have your husband take over. Instead of having him hover over you, have him bring you water and make you something to eat. When he does help, make certain to PRAISE him. Men can be fickle when around little babies. Their ego can deflate if all you do is point out what they are doing wrong.

Best wishes to you and your family! Babies can make or break relationships. In my situation, when it came down to it, I realized that I am absolutely head over heels in love with my husband. He may have flaws, but he is mine. I wouldn't trade him for the world. :o)

You have all been so helpful and completely understanding of what I have said.
Thank you so much!
He is at work at the moment but we are going to have a talk when he gets home.
I will keep you all posted on the outcome and how its going when I next get a chance xx

you know this may have nothing to do with your age. i am 27 and my hubby is 34. having a new baby is hard no matter how old you are. he hates it when she cries because he feels like as a man he should be able to make things right for his family and if he cant console her he feels like he is failing as a father. hang in there. these times are the toughest when the baby is little. not to mention you are probably both sleep deprived. hang int here. it is good that you are not afraid to get a baby sitter for some time to yourselves. you need that time. good luck honey!

It helps to explain to your husband that a baby's only way of communication is crying. A man might think- "eh, baby's crying. I did something wrong!" That leads to a man thinking that he's a failure and he panics. Once you get it into his head that its nothing personal and that its simply a cue that the baby needs something, your spouse may be able to cope with the crying better.

I'd also be sure to tell him that babies are very confused and unhappy first few months. They are out of a nice, warm womb with soft light, nice music (for them, heartbeat and blood whooshing around), rocking almost all the time and 24/7 food. They came to a place where there's food only when you cry, you have to learn to digest and poop and pee, there's stimulation everywhere, you're rocked only when you cry. Everything is new, and they don't understand what's going on, and it's overwhelming. Most times my baby cried from either boredom or overstimulation. This all passes in time but it is normal to often feel like you don't know what's wrong and how to help. Just encourage him to keep trying.

Before you have your talk with him, understand not to start demanding what you want and what he needs to do, understand his concerns as well and don't make it seem like you are attacking him. he will shut down!
Maybe give him a heads up that you both need to talk and set a day up so he can gather his thoughts too. best of luck.