Very normal feelings I think. Imagine you had to go to work, a job you usually really loved, but you had to stay in the office, with virtually no colleagues 24/7 for 80 days straight. Would you go bonkers or not? You have to make your partner give you a regular break. Book a time at least once a week and insist on it.
Best of luck,
KC

I definitely started to feel a bit cabin fevered although I had no desire to leave the baby. So I started forcing myself to go out to the shops or just for a walk with the baby and felt better straight away. It's a bit of a faff getting him in the enormous pushchair and facing buses and stairs at train stations and stuff but usually worth it.
The best thing for me (a bit sad I know) has been when my husband comes with me to the supermarket then sits in their cafe with the baby while I go round and shop. I have a bit of freedom but I know the baby is nearby in case he needs to feed or I miss him (oh dear - I suspect I'm a bit clingy!). Apparently having a baby is a good way to get girls to chat you up too so he has a good time :)

Also - you could go with your husband with the baby?
My husband and I share the same circle of friends so often we'll all go to the pub and I'll just sit there feeding the baby. It's not the same as before but I do get to get out and chat with everyone like I used to. The difficulty is that I get more tired in the evenings than I used to and have no inclination to get drunk! :)
The baby probably wouldn't mind UFC either - I've taken mine to watch martial arts classes (I was an instructor before the baby and hope to go back to it). Loud noises will sometimes elicit a cry but it's mostly just if you jump yourself. If you're calm and the baby is sitting on you, she probably will be too.

Last thing - YES! It totally felt like my life had changed drastically but my husband's didn't. Particularly at 2mo or so. I couldn't believe that he was still trying to do 'normal' things that I couldn't even contemplate. He has gradually adjusted to the lifestyle change but not to the same extent that we have to I think.

i felt that way especially the my life changing and his not bit. i put my foot down, i said listen, tuesday morning and saturday mornings (as hes not at work those days) you are getting up with her, im staynig in bed. bath time through the week is your time with her as your out all day at work. We go out once a month together to have adult time. We dont generally go out alone, but if we do its equal he will fish one week and i will go out for the lunch the week after. All I can say is men don't change unless they are told to , subtle hints dont work unless applied with the force of a sledge hammer so just tell him, i hope he understands! x

Definetly common to feel those feelings. Like you say, your life has changed completely and for the first few months you kind of feel lost and wonder if you will ever feel like yourself again. I felt this way and even worse since my daughter was born in the middle of winter, didn't want to get her out and get her sick, so I had to hibernate in my house and that was very, very hard. I had a lot of rough days were I would just cry and I was envious of my husband because he got to get out and go to work everyday like normal. But when I would tell him that he couldn't believe I was jealous he was going to work. I think it is really hard for people to understand it unless they have been in your shoes. My only outing without my girl is to get groceries once a week, other than that, she is with me. You will get used to it and it will feel like your new normal. But it takes time to adjust. Honestly I can't remember what my life was like without my daughter and I would be lost without her. Don't be so hard on yourself. What you are feeling is completely normal.

I can't take Marlow places that my fiancee goes because he goes to over 18 only places. The pool hall is no minors, and so is where UFC is shown. This weekend he is going to a pals house to watch the fight, and he said I could come...but it's 'guy' time, and I feel silly enough bringing myself, a girl, to 'guy' time, let alone a baby!
It is an enourmous task to take her out in the stroller. It's cold here already, and I need to carry this gianormous stroller down about 20 stairs and then back up every time I use it.
I do have some break time I guess. Joey's sister has 4 kids, but since they are all in school, sometimes she comes and takes Marlow for a few hours so I can sleep. It just doesn't feel like me time because I'm dead to the world.
Maybe it would be easier to deal with this feeling if I didn't have such a cranky baby. She spends almost three quarters of her awake time crying.
Also, Joey has weekends off, and I ask him to help me with her but he won't. Not at night. Last Saturday I asked if he would get up and feed her so I could keep sleeping. He told me he would...but I had to get out of bed..go make her a bottle..get her, and then bring her to him, and when he was done he wantd to me put her back to bed! Why not just feed her then??
Argh...I guess I shouldn't complain. I have one beautiful baby!

you know what, "you" do have a beautiful baby but that "you" includes HIM!!! You didn't make this baby on your own so you sure as hell shouldn't have to care for her on your own! Kick him into shape, refusing to help you at weekends, honestly thats just not right, so many women are coming on here with the same struggles with their partners, and i was one of them, i left i tso long my options were tell him straight and make him help or leave and be a single mum, luckily he snapped out of it and woke up, put yourself on the outside if this was one of your girlfriends what would you tell her to do.
Sorry men frustrate me and they shouldnt get away with crap like this!

I totally know how you feel hun. My husband travels for work so it's just me and the baby Monday through Friday. And when he comes home on the weekend he barely does anything. He life has not changed. He does take care out our LO at night because he is up playing video games on the computer but he doesn't wake up with him. Do you have any family around. My son is almost 9 months old and since he was like 4 months old my mom has been taking him on Thursday nights so I can have me time. I do feel it's important that a mom has time for herself without the baby. You are still you. I would just talk to him and say if your having "boy" nights I'm have a "girls" night. Switch off every other weekend. If he doesn't like tell him tough. You both had your beautiful baby and you both deserve some you time. Good luck hunny. If you want to chat more. Just message me. I know exacty how your feeling

im glad to know that im not alone! we are arguing alot lately because of this. he doesnt get that i feel trapped, he thinks that because i wanted to have a baby that this is what i signed up for. living with the baby 24/7 is my just dues for having a daughter. we don't see eye to eye.
i think a big part of it is his mom. she was a stay at home parent, and she actually told me, in front of joey, that a womans job is to stay at home and cook, clean, and raise the children while the man works and does other 'manly' things. its how he was raised.
i just need to vent i guess. its going to take alot of talking with him to get it through his thick skull. joey is one of the most stubborn people i know and he is very stuck in his ways!

Here are a few suggestions that may be helpful:

1. get a baby bjorn or ergo carrier or a sling and take your baby out in that. It's warm since she's next to you and you don't have to carry a stroller. if you go out for more than 30 mins I suggest ergo carrier since it's easier on your back than baby bjorn. Slings are also very nice and cozy for the baby but my baby never liked them. He did like Moby wrap though and that's ergonomic plus very nice and warm for the baby. Perhaps try this one first? It's also cheaper than Bjorn or Ergo.

2. Give the baby to your husband and leave. I found out that my DH would help if I'm not physically there, otherwise he'd wait for me. If he's waking up with the baby go sleep in another room and let them figure out what to do. Babies are great at crying and letting parents know they can't slack so use this to your advantage :)

Finally, I know how it is when the baby cries a lot. My son is/was very demanding too - wanted to be held all the time, not a good sleeper, etc. This gets a little better as the baby gets older. At 6 months he started playing by himself - I still had to be there but didn't have to actively entertain him. Now at almost 8 months he barely cries. He makes a lot of other noises and he laughs a lot but he only cries when very tired or very irritated. So things will improve but I remember how trying it is in the early months.

I agree entirely with what Chamelian said. :o)

Rather than letting this build up inside of you, sit your fiancee down and be blunt and get straight to the point. Avoid any ranting and yelling- just tell him how it is (this may cut back on argument). Communication is the key with having a child/children. If you're having a bad day, let him know so that he can help share the burden. If he loves you and wants your relationship to work, then he should make the effort.

Have you talked to your future father in law? The thing that men today don't understand is that the fathers before them were still doing their part to contribute to the household. Ask your future FIL if he did anything to help his wife when they had kids. It's not often talked about, but he might have changed diapers and such.

Hopefully you and your partner can find a compromise. Maybe you can alternate weekends with him? I don't think every week would be possible, but you can certainly try.

Completely normal!! I felt the same way. My husband made me so mad one day. He said he thought parenting was easier than he had anticipated. He said this after working an 11 hour day (with adults) while I was home with a colicky 5 week old. I almost cried. I was up every 2 hours breastfeeding while I heard him snore next to me. I hadnt talked to any other adult all day. I still had a pile of housework to do and then he has the nerve to tell me he would rather do what I do than go to his job. GRRRRRR!!! Instead of freaking out on him I explained how difficult it had been for me. He said he understood and has been more sensitive. He always helped a lot with Sara (when he's home) but now he just seems to watch what he says. Try talking with your husband and tell him how you feel. He can stay home and let you get away for a night. It's important to have a little time for you!!! Once I started hanging with my friends again and once I went back to work, the feeling of being trapped went away. Good luck!!

I have all sort of trapped feelings..more so than U but my husband does not leave me to be with his friends every weekend..if I were U I would get a handle on that if U can. I resent my hubby and he's home with me..we get out but I feel more like I cant escape him and the baby..I think its because I breast feed I just feel like my whole life is controlled...very overwhelming but I know it will get better

I feel like this too (I'm new to the group and my daughter is 1 month today). It feels like my life changed completely and my husband's hasn't. Finally I had a meltdown and said we had to hire help or do something. Now my mother-in-law is coming 2 days a week to watch the baby so I can get out or just check my email (and post here). You have to have some time to yourself. I tried to do it myself and was just miserable. I'm a better mom with some help.


As for my husband, he doesn't go out with friends or anything, but he works long hours. He called today and said he was invited to a happy hour tonight. I was like, no way. You're coming home. It's a small thing to give up a few months of social things to be with me and the baby. When she's bigger then we can all go out more and get back to normal. You have to put your foot down and insist he stay home and help --or, hey, stay home and let you go out for an hour or so! You'll be happier and argue less.

as an update, joey and i had a big talk/me telling him how its going to be!
yesterday was fantastic! he let me go to bingo with his sister, and I won for the first time ever! then his sister and i went out and got our hair cut and coloured! i was apart from marlow for six hours!!
after i got over the lost feeling, because i kept thinking i was forgetting something, i had alot of fun. and it made the night of fussiness so much more bearable.
lets hope he keeps it up!

I hope he does too hun keep us posted!