Parenting Newborns & Infants (0-1) Support Group

Feeding your infant and ensuring they are getting enough nutrition is one of the most important aspects of parenting during that first year. This community is dedicated to those who are nurturing a baby, whether breastfed or formula-fed.

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leopardfreak 09/11/2011

hi , i really dont know witch group this would fall under so im hoping i get really close to it.

ok my story , i was dating this guy he dumped me i found out i was pregnant , he denies that hes the dad, but he wont write out he wants nutting to do with this baby . shes 7 months now , im debabting on should i leave it alone? or should i make him pay or sign off his rights .

there pros and ons to both but i wanna see what diff people say so please reply asap so i can try and figure out fully what to do

thanks

deleted_user 09/11/2011

That's a tough one and it really depends on your situation. If you're hurting for money, I would explore the possibility of child support. Raising a child is expensive and it only gets harder as they get older. But if you're doing find on your own and this isn't a person you want in your child's life anyway, it's not worth it. Also, keep in mind that if they rule him as the father, he might also receive visitation rights, even if he doesn't use them. But this also leaves the door open for him coming back later in life and fighting you for custody, especially if he's paid child support. However, some fathers get the order and never pay, and if your daughter's father is anything like that, if you think he wouldn't pay anyway, again, it's not worth it.

Honestly, sometimes it's just best to leave the father out of the picture. If things are working well for you and your daughter right now, just leave it alone.

I wouldn't ask him to sign his rights away unless you know he'll actually do it. If you ask him and he's on the fence, he might push more toward being in her life if he feels like you're trying to take his rights away. And then you'll have all kinds of custody issues. But if you really think he'll sign, I'd do that, too. No point in letting him hold onto rights that he doesn't even want. That will only come back to haunt you later.

joleneLS 09/12/2011

I see your Canadian, in Canada if you go to court and get a test done to prove he is the father, and it comes back that he is, he has to pay for the test, plus he will then be forced to make a decision.

A lot of what jenviere said is true. Is he a benifit in any way shape or form in your childs life? Or is he going to just be a brick wall?

If he won't sign over rights or pay, and he refuses to acknowledge the baby is his, then take him to court. Is he on the birth certificate? If he is you can actually go apply for maintenence without his knowledge or consent.

leopardfreak 09/12/2011

thank you for the advice i talked to someone today as well about it , and im going to keep doing what im doing. im not involved in his life im going to try and stay as far from that subject as possible. its not that hes a supper bad guy , if he grew up then he could be a great guy. he hasnt contact me since i told him he was a daddy so he dont deserve to have a great girl like her.

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