Parenting Newborns & Infants (0-1) Support Group
Feeding your infant and ensuring they are getting enough nutrition is one of the most important aspects of parenting during that first year. This community is dedicated to those who are nurturing a baby, whether breastfed or formula-fed.
I'm a new mum of a month old daughter. I'm 23 and my fiancee is 24. We wanted a baby for awhile, and after a year of trying we gave up. Joey got laid off, and low and behold I got pregnant.
For the first six months Joey showed no desire to even talk about the baby, he didn't want to talk about names, he didn't want to feel it move that much, nothing. The last months though he got so much better and was very into it.
Now that she's here he's a decent father. But he only wants her when she's quiet and content.
That seems to be never. I read somewhere that babies are suppossed to cry 7% of every day...Marlow must cry at least 60%. The doctors say there is nothing wrong with her.
She is always eating...sometimes more than once an hour, and she refuses to sleep on her back. She is putting on weight and she's developing normally.
Now, without a whole lot of support from Joey when it comes to the tantrums..I'm starting to find myself angry. Not at the baby....mostly at myself. Something must be making her cry and I can't make it go away.
Is this normal? Are babies, healthy normal babies, suppossed to cry this much? And I'm I suppossed to get so upset? I'm worried.
And everytime I get furusterated in the littlest way, Joey starts ragging on me about post partum depression.
I just need some input from people who have been where I am right now.
Thanks
For the first six months Joey showed no desire to even talk about the baby, he didn't want to talk about names, he didn't want to feel it move that much, nothing. The last months though he got so much better and was very into it.
Now that she's here he's a decent father. But he only wants her when she's quiet and content.
That seems to be never. I read somewhere that babies are suppossed to cry 7% of every day...Marlow must cry at least 60%. The doctors say there is nothing wrong with her.
She is always eating...sometimes more than once an hour, and she refuses to sleep on her back. She is putting on weight and she's developing normally.
Now, without a whole lot of support from Joey when it comes to the tantrums..I'm starting to find myself angry. Not at the baby....mostly at myself. Something must be making her cry and I can't make it go away.
Is this normal? Are babies, healthy normal babies, suppossed to cry this much? And I'm I suppossed to get so upset? I'm worried.
And everytime I get furusterated in the littlest way, Joey starts ragging on me about post partum depression.
I just need some input from people who have been where I am right now.
Thanks
Have you tried to sit Joey down and explain to him that you need him to be more supportive? It might be just that he's scared and doesn't know what to do with a crying baby.
I also felt angry a lot, and not really for any particular reason but silly things would irritate me, particularly if my hubby didn't do something he was meant to. You have to remember your body has just done something huge and been through a big change and hormones are still settling down, plus I doubt you are getting the amount of sleep you are used to which will all make you feel more irritable so it isn't necessarily depression.
The main thing is to try and relax and enjoy her, babies can also react to their parents behaviour so if there is tension and you feel angry etc just put her somewhere safe and sit down for 5 minutes with a coffee or something and relax.
I'm sure she will settle down soon x
My son's 15 weeks and we've been really lucky that he doesn't cry much and when he does there's almost always something we can do about it... feed or wind. The time I can't help him is when it's a fart or a poo rather than a burp and then I just have to do my best to sooth him until his body sorts it out.
I think this is just luck as some babies are far more cryey. My mum says I had 3 month colic and would scream with pain for about 4h every evening starting at about 5pm for the first 3 months and there was nothing she could do about it :(
I think this must be awful because YES - I think you are supposed to be upset when you hear your baby crying. Don't feel that you should have to let her cry - if it's easier for you, pick her up and try to calm her. Basically - you are knackered. Just do whatever is easiest for you. If you sometimes have to leave her to cry then OK - she won't remember it when she's older! If it makes you terribly upset to leave her then don't feel you have to.
I guess your partner's equally frustrated. He doesn't know what to do and feels it's not really his area - shouldn't mums automatically know how to be mums.....? Uh no! We all have to learn. He probably thinks he's being supportive just knowing about post partum depression. My husband's wonderful but thought that the most supportive thing to say when I was knackered after a night of feeding was "well - we can always give him a bottle"! He was worried about me but that really didn't help me personally (although it was nice that he wasn't pressurizing me to bf I suppose). When you're that knackered, your partner can't really do anything right! He's probably also stressing about work - feeling that he is letting you and the baby down if he's not bringing in regular cash but there's a major crisis going on out there with the credit crunch and jobs must be harder to get than ever.
What I would say is it will get better. My friend, pregnant with her second, openly said that she hated the first 3 months and was not looking forward to it. I was at the end of my pregnancy and was shocked but I do see what she meant now. The poor baby doesn't know how to feed or poo properly; everything seems to hurt it; it can't move to shift a burp itself or scratch an itch or control it's hands or even see well. No wonder they cry! And, particularly if its your first one, you don't know what's going on either but feel that you should and that it's your responsibility.....! Ah - motherhood :)
Thinking of you - it will get better.
Oh - and the midwife in hospital put our son to sleep on his side sometimes and I continued to do this occasionally. I'd position him so that he would roll on to his back rather than his front if he wiggled and that's usually what would happen. It's not as safe as putting them on their back but better, I think, than putting them on their fronts...
And I do just feed him whenever. It's food and drink, meals and snacks, and a baby's tummy is so small they get hungry really quickly. Think how often you have a cup of tea, a biscuit, a sandwich or whatever then imagine your stomach was too small to get the whole cup of tea or the whole sandwich in in one go. The feeding is something you can definitely do to help your baby feel secure in the world. I was told that if the baby cries to offer the breast first as hunger is the most likely thing and it's easily solved (unlike a troublesome burp!).
Oooh - sorry it's such a long post - I can really go on sometimes...