Common courtesy and general respect for other people is rare these days, I will agree. However, those of us that do practice it, should continue. We aren't losing anything by being this way. We should also continue to teach our children this same virtue.

I forget the song's title, but there is a country song that talks about a front porch and that we need to get back to that sense of community where people actually interacted and would sit and talk on Sunday afternoons on their front porches. In other words, we lack community these days.

People are critical I guess, for many reasons. We are a self centered culture; we can't trust people either because of what has happened with "the next door neighbor" being some pervert or criminal-We live in closed worlds where we cannot trust one another.

Because of the chaos of the world, people cling tightly to their own ethnic, religious and family cultures. The world is so divided-Rebpublicans against Democrats-Muslims and Christians still fighting-Everything is so divided, and so people cling hard and fast to what they know, and this sometimes creates tolerance.

I'm not trying to sound too liberal, but I grew up at a Universit and I found one thing interesting. No matter if a person was Nigerian or Japanese-no matter if a person was Hindu, Christian, Islamic or Aethist, there was a set-a set of manners/customs and ethics that everyone held to. These were:

1-To greet one another in public
2-To share information and debate politely or to state one's beliefs without censure
3-To assist one another with groceries, housing or other needs if possible.
4-To voice grievances with the end result being solution rather than discord
5-To accept all people, even if the resident Kurd from Lebanon was eccentric and got on your nerves or if a person had Asperger's and you had to tolerate his loudness.

I'm not going to say that my community was perfect; it was not, but there were basic rules of decency (way back in the 1970's that is). Everyone had something to contribute and everyone was accepted. If a Muslim friend or acquaintence needed a place to worship, you found a place for them to worship (back then there weren't a lot of mosques)-You introduced them to other Muslims that you knew.

AND-you shared. Like with English as a Second Language Groups or Church groups-Folks would bring cous cous from Turkey or sushi from Japan or strudel from Germany or Borscht from Russia and we would learn about languages and customs.

Therefore, I am convinced that we are all ruled by fear and have forgotten the social skills needed to create community. I have lived where I live now for about 6 years. It has taken me a full six years to find a decent church that has community. I found it-people get together for lunch-homeless-blue collar-preppies--professionals-sit and eat and talk. Some folks seperate themselves but most do not. And, we have interracial couples.

Having community and practising tolerance is a choice! I am convinced of this.

I agree that basic civility seems to be lost by many. The world has gotten too narcissistic (sp?) for anyone to be concerned about anyone else. I feel like so many people have no interest in real connection with other human beings and are only concerned about themselves and their own little worlds. I agree that this is very dissapointing sometimes, but I also agree with "kidsintowe03" that those of us who are kind and respectful of others need to contintue to do it with joy and grace...maybe it will inspire others!

I agree - common courtesy seems to be a thing of the past. I am doing my best to teach my kids general good regard for others even if they never receive it back and it's so hard. My older son is noticing it rarely comes back to him and I really don't have an answer when he asks me why sometimes...I feel like a broken record a lot, but I just keep telling him 'it's okay to be the better person'...I wish that kind words, basic support of the fellow human and general care for another ones feelings were at the top of peoples' daily attitude and outlook on the world. Everyone would have such better days! :)

I agree 100% supportplease. It seems, especially among women, that if your parenting style doesn't jibe with another mom's, you get dropped cold.

I'm a single mom so I don't get invited to couples things very often. Plus I'm a bit unusual in that I make a high salary for a single mom and was 20-something when I had my son. Let's just say, I don't really have a peer group.

Just stay away from the gossip and do what you think is best. People would do well to follow your example of courtesy and discretion :)

My son is finally making friends. He is at a new school now (bullied at the last), and I strain to get a play date for him. He asked his friend recently if he could set one up-get his phone number-and he said he couldn't because his family doesn't know us. Well, the only way to get to know us is to let your son or daughter give a way to contact. We have to do it. Fine, I don't care about giving my phone number, but now I've had to walk out with a girl and approach her mother while the mother is still in her car trying to pick up her daughter. I don't like having to do that. Well, that has nothing to do with what I'm saying. Fact is I feel judged by the people in my neighborhood. I'm fat and sometimes a little frumpy and everyone looks at me funny. Most are polite but leave me out of the conversation. Hard to make playmates this way. So I think my physical appearance and the paranoia of other parents hinder us. It makes me sad. I thought I would have taken the weight off by now, but I haven't. My poor son really deserves friends. He's sweet and sensitive and inviting. Passing out birthday party invitations is not allowed at school, so it makes things very difficult. Most parents drive to the front of the school to pick up their kids. It's hard. I wish people could be childlike and see past my fat or just not pay attention to it. I am the room parent for my son's class and the kids still look up to me; it's like they don't even see it. I mean yeah you want to see another adult take care of themselves, but I'm not that bad. Anyway, try not to judge a book by it's cover. You miss out on genuine people like myself and my son. I try to do the same. Thanks.