Parenting Big Kids (5-8) Support Group
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I'm incredulous when I actually do talk to other parents at my daughter's school at how much they have their kids doing.
Here's an example: we'll call her, "My mommy failed at these things as a child and now I am forced to live her dream so she feels like an adequate parent and can simultaneously live her dreams through me."
Or we'll call her Sally.
The person is real; The name has been changed to protect the innocent.
So Sally, age 7, goes to school from 8am to 2:30pm every weekday. (At this school and her class, the homework is abundant. I can attest to this if called on as a witness...)
On Monday afternoons she has gymnastics from 4-5..or some time frame like that.
Tuesday is ice skating.
Wednesday is Girl Scouts.
Thursday is German School...(apparently Sally's mom wants her o speak German, as it is their heritage...)
Friday is Gymnastic again...
Saturday is ballet / tap.
I only remember this much because I was positively amazed. When does the child have time to breathe? Like I said, I know for a fact that between school, homework, and projects for school, there is no way time for all of that. I've got my daughter doing ballet on Saturdays and her after school program exposes her to various activities such as chess, volleyball, and origami...but they also do the homework there.
So when she gets home, she just has time to unwind and play in the backyard or in her room. Isn't this a prime age for imagination? How can one's imagination prosper when being dogged by structured class after structured class??
And it's not just 'Sally'. Every mom I talk to, it seems has this ridiculously full schedule for their kid.
I haven't stinted on the exposure of activities for my daughter...I just pace myself. When she feels tired of ballet and has the desire to try something new, we'll look into it...but until then...let the kids just play for heaven's sake.
Here's an example: we'll call her, "My mommy failed at these things as a child and now I am forced to live her dream so she feels like an adequate parent and can simultaneously live her dreams through me."
Or we'll call her Sally.
The person is real; The name has been changed to protect the innocent.
So Sally, age 7, goes to school from 8am to 2:30pm every weekday. (At this school and her class, the homework is abundant. I can attest to this if called on as a witness...)
On Monday afternoons she has gymnastics from 4-5..or some time frame like that.
Tuesday is ice skating.
Wednesday is Girl Scouts.
Thursday is German School...(apparently Sally's mom wants her o speak German, as it is their heritage...)
Friday is Gymnastic again...
Saturday is ballet / tap.
I only remember this much because I was positively amazed. When does the child have time to breathe? Like I said, I know for a fact that between school, homework, and projects for school, there is no way time for all of that. I've got my daughter doing ballet on Saturdays and her after school program exposes her to various activities such as chess, volleyball, and origami...but they also do the homework there.
So when she gets home, she just has time to unwind and play in the backyard or in her room. Isn't this a prime age for imagination? How can one's imagination prosper when being dogged by structured class after structured class??
And it's not just 'Sally'. Every mom I talk to, it seems has this ridiculously full schedule for their kid.
I haven't stinted on the exposure of activities for my daughter...I just pace myself. When she feels tired of ballet and has the desire to try something new, we'll look into it...but until then...let the kids just play for heaven's sake.
I reiterate: It's a mad, mad world.
I completely agree. my mantra these days is "one thing at a time."
let's take swimming classes (I admit I'm behind here, he's 5 1/2 and doesn't know how to swim) and when that is *over* we can think about karate.
I just don't have the energy to do more than one thing at a time and I think that in the end, that's very good for my kid.
but, then again, I'm a non-conformist, so I'm not very popular, and I'm OK with that.
Kids just cannot do that anymore. So I think a lot of parents overcompensate by putting their social calendars on steroids. I see this a lot at my son's school, and I don't want to stereotype but it does seem to be happening more with girls than with boys at our school.
I wish I could get my son involved in some sort of organized sport just to channel some of that energy! He is very busy with homework this year (3rd grade), and he does have a busy social life (I have an aversion to the phrase "Play Date"....don't ask me why), but we have plenty of downtime to just decompress. I don't think I'll ever feel comfortable sending him out front to play, even though we live in a nice neighborhood. However, we definitely do not have even half of our days during the week planned up. I think Sally's going to make some therapists offshore accounts very happy someday....who said that?! :)
I totally agree. When the time comes for them to actually occupy themselves and be creative, they'll not know what to do!
I also have to wonder if having THAT many activities going on everyday does something to the attention span. Having to switch gears so much has to be in some way detrimental.
Mechellebelle,
Many fantastic things have been contributed to the world by non-conformists. Kudos!
Dancermom,
I guess I do see your point about the safety issues of the once pastime of riding your bike or playing outside until dark...I used to do the same thing. But the overcompensation is nuts. There are still parks and friends houses (I loathe the term 'play date', as well. It sounds like an actual formal engagement of playtime. Whoever coined that term should be flogged severely...)
I remember living in an apartment and didn't have a yard, Jaquelin would have a friend over and they would just play for hours just dressing up, or teacher, (or in Jaquelin's case 'dictator'), or draw....
One or two structured activities seem reasonable, but when it's something everyday...eesh.
Hooray therapy!
We've said no to soccer, football, baseball, etc.
We are at the dojo two nights a week and the rest of the time (3 weeknights and weekends) is playtime with the neighborhood kids.
There is plenty of time later for the other stuff. They won't be kids very long and they need that time to go out and play with their friends, catch bugs and frogs, explore, etc.
There's plenty of time later on in adulthood to be overscheduled and exhausted.
I was astonished at gymnastics watching a 4 year old competitive cheerleading team and a mom saying, wow, I'm behind the 8 ball, better get my daughter enrolled in cheerleading, dance and gymnastics. WHAT??? Poor kid, 4 years old, play in the backyard, chase a frog, be silly.