Parenting Big Kids (5-8) Support Group

This community is focused on the joys, challenges and concerns faced by parents of big kids (5 to 8 year olds). The major areas of child development include: physical development, perception and sensory development, communication and language development, cognitive development, emotional development and social development. Join to share your stories and get advice.

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Children's Health & Parenting
/ Parenting Big Kids (5-8) Support Group

Shy children

supportplease
supportplease
I think it would be awesome to start a support group for parents, teachers, relatives - really anyone needing support and sharing of ideas for those of us trying to help the shy children in our lives. Let this be a haven for comparing notes and supporting eachother. I am the mother of 2 shy kids and would love to connect with others in the same situation.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm not sure if my 2 year old is going to be shy or not and I know for sure that my 8 year old stepson is not shy, but I was absolutely a shy child and I think I might have some things to share with parents about shy children. It is a great Idea!
supportplease
supportplease
Just wondering...what did you find helpful?
deleted_user
deleted_user
Actually, I didn't really get past being painfully shy until I was in my late twenties and on medication for depression. I guess if I could go back and give advice to my parents it would be this...Shy children should not be pushed into social situations in the hopes that they can overcome shyness.
I truly believe that in the past,perhaps even now, shyness in children has been looked upon as a defect or illness and shy children are shamed by society. Teachers, parents and others can be so set on changing the shy child into a "Normal" child that they miss whatever beautiful qualities, talents and abilities that child may naturally have.
I guess what I would have told my parents would be to let me go at my own pace with people and experiences. To nurture whatever interests I have (within reason) and try not to shame and embarrass me when I have a hard time expressing myself to others.
mechellebelle
mechellebelle
I was very shy in early years but I feel that mine was a result of things that my parents said or emphasized. I think we were afraid to say anything for fear that we would be criticized. they focused heavily on what others might think of us ("don't get dirty or the neighbors will think we are poor, etc.") ugh.

it got better for me when I turned about 6 or 7. I know most or not all shyness is a result of what parents or others do, but I think shyness can be a complicated thing.
mechellebelle
mechellebelle
sorry, I meant to type "not all shyness is a result of others ...in other words, most shyness is not related to the parent's actions (they are not at fault).
deleted_user
deleted_user
mechelleb, I agree with you. I have a child that is shy and I never tell him that he is shy or force him into any situation. Thanks for your message
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