Not knowing details of what he's doing...I can't give proper advice...sounds like the issue is more a difference of parenting than your son's behavior causing you 'anger'. I recommend you and your wife discuss this - WITHOUT him present. Stay calm, focused, etc...on the issue - to discipline on the same level, and how you will discipline separately to remain on the same page moving forward. Figure out a plan that works - for both of you for the types of things he's doing wrong. As for reducing your immediate anger reaction, take a BIG deep breath when you want to yell, and take yourself to time out...10 minutes...think about it, think about if its really worth yelling about, and make a calm decision on a punishment...together. Remember, he's 5, and if it's your guys' only child, she's just being a mom (unconditional love to her child) and discipline may never be her strong point - but you can help her feel empowered by working on it together...and showing her how discipline is good and needed to raise your boy right. Maybe she'll let you take the lead, and follow w/o anger. Good luck...these years can be VERY frustrating! :)

The first thing I would advice you to do is when you feel angry at your son, if at any way posssible, leave the room. Try calmly to tell your son that "Daddy needs some time to calm down." Then, go into a room and try to calm down, taking deep breaths, or if you can run around your block, anything to call yourself down. As it sounds like you already are aware of (which is great), it is not fair to your son if you have an anger problem. Second, think of what are you angry about? What is he doing to cause you to be angry? Sometimes, 5 years old just don't understand. They are so small. It could be so many reasons. It sounds that getting individual therapy is really important. I admire your willingness to be honest and reach out for help. That's great - because you don't want to have regrets in the future. Good luck to you. Feel free to write again to me.

...sounds like your first son...=) congrats! I too have had anger issues when my one and only son was 5. And of coarse you want him to be a disciplined, respectful hardworking young man, I just always try to remember that he his only a boy right now, and he is still growing, and we as dads have to teach by example, they will always do what they see, not always do what they are told, so I try to show my son discipline (by controlling my anger) respect ( by not screaming or engaging in arguements with his mom) and work hard at making things fun like picking up his room (make it a race between you and him) or yard work, all boys want to hang out with dad outside...good luck man, and thank you for being honest about your anger, it reminded me its still there and as dads we need to be more conciuous of it. thanks again.

He's old enough to understand "Go to your room until I decide what I am going to do", I have to do this with my oldest it gives me time to calm down and think and him a time out without it being the punishment...that way if it turns out the problem isnt as big as my emotions I can walk in and explain what he did wrong and that he will be serving a time out starting now......or if it is a real whopper I can calm down and decide what will happen next....on occasion this has been a good time to work out parenting differences with my husband....my son knows hes is out of the room but knows hes in trouble and my husband and I have time to talk about what we expect to happen...which we usually disagree on but with the child out of the room its easier to fake a united front against bad behavior....even if your wife is a softie she should be able to muster up the courage to back you up before you go in the room to lay down the law. I react very quickly and having the ability to send him away before I do something I will regret is a big help.

Giving him choices within limits has worked for me. It gives a child incentive, responsibility and ultimately confidence. The best book I've read so far is Parenting With Love and Logic. I would highly recommend it. I wish I had when my son was only 5. :(. Good luck!

you and your wife need to be on the same page parenting wise, if you are yelling though, thats all your son is hearing not your words, just talk,remember he's 5 , I'm usually the bad guy (the teeth brusher the bath giver) and daddy is fun, this created problems for us discuss the issues make your decisions together and you both have to follow thru.