I don't know if it will help or not, but my son is almost 7 and the not obeying when told to do something followed by the cries of no.no.no when the consequence comes down was driving me crazy. I have recently started having a direct consequence for both of those regardless of who he is with. For my son it is losing computer time for not obeying and tv for fits. We loose the day it happens and the next day, to eliminate the end of the evening problems, and to get it back the day after if there have to be no problems in the area that he lost. It seems to be helping. I figured I would attack my two biggest problems first.
I am not single, but my husband is bed ridden and not involved in parenting or working or the household, so I do understand.

my boys are only 5, and we use a method called '1-2-3 Magic', it is a book. works well with my daughter too, she's 10.

We take away allowance and video game time....its the only thing that works at our house...we pay our son in dimes so we can take away just one or a few...depending on the offense....and we also dont let him cry too much about it....he still falls for the "I didnt make the laws I just enforce them"....He thinks the president is why he has to go to bed at 8...

"....he still falls for the "I didnt make the laws I just enforce them"....He thinks the president is why he has to go to bed at 8..."

thats too funny, maybe I'll tell my kids that.

loss of tv and video game time is a big one

also sitting on his bed to think about his actions, with no toys or anything.

and *gasp*...everyone be prepared to tell me what a horrible mom i am....we do believe in a swat on the behind if the crime is severe enough.

I know, I'm evil and abusive, and am going to hell because I believe in a good old fashioned spanking from time to time. lol

You're are absolutely correct Liza. a little swat on the behind if the crime is severe enough, never hurt.
my mom used to use a wooden spoon (the kind used for cooking) she broke many of them on my butt.

My philosophy is always if u do the crime then u also must do the time. No matter what that is.
If u hit ur friend then u cant go out and play with them. If u refuse to do a chore then u must sit on ur bed until u decide to do ur chore. If u say a bad word dependin on what the word is. U might have to go to your room, or u might get hot sauce for that 1. Actin a fool in the store will get u a spankin in the bathroom. Lets c for my older daughter. Takin away the cell phone works, but what works more is grounding her from goin out with her friends.

I hope this helps. If u need more suggestions just let me know.

Bcas, believe it or not i was never spanked by my mom. That was my step dads dirty job. But i got a switchin from my granny, and my grandma she had a fanny wacker.

And if my kids choose to ignore me. Well thats an easy 1. It especially erkks the hell outta me when im standin right next to them and they ignore me. Its a god way to get smacked upside the head. Not hard enough to hurt them. But enough to get my point across to them that Im demandin there attention and nothin else at the moment is more impotant

right on Brandy!

I am a young and very new mother. I just recently adopted a son and he is about to turn 5. Whatever the case may be, I have tried to do constructive discipline. Things such as, he does not listen, play the "I talk you listen" game. You will be surprised how much a young child actually absorbs just by you doing this. Also for a punishment for this type of behavior I would take away things that he enjoys playing with.

Also I had a very serious problem with my son ignoring me. Finally, I gave him a taste of his own medicine. He would sit there and say, "Mommy, Mommy, Mom, Mommy, E'la (that is what he calls me, my name is A'la -- like Kayla without the K, and he cant pronounce it very well lol) however he will get annoyed because I will not respond. He will even start to poke me and its hard not to loose composure. However, after he gets irrittated enough I explained to him that how he felt when I did not pay attention to him is exactly how I feel when he does that to me. Anytime he does this, I do it back. He learns rather fast that if he wants respect he has to earn it.

Also maybe just simply ask him, what is keeping you distracted in PE to where you dont want to follow directions. Maybe he is not confident about playing that particular game or doing that particular exercise. Maybe find out what it was and practice it at home to help his confidence. You could probably convince him that he is so good he could teach the other students and it will give him a push in the right direction :)

Stay strong. Motherhood/parenting is never easy.

One of the unique types of discipline I use in my house is giving my children a choice. It usually involves either a time-out or no TV for my 4 year old. For my 7 year old, it's either no 'screen time' (TV, computer, or Wii) or a chore that I usually do such as sweeping the kitchen floor. The idea is that they will be more accepting of it since they choose it. I've had mixed results. Many times my 4 year old still throws a fit but we just have to stick to our guns.

It was so funny my sister when she was little had one of the Barbie cars that you have to charge with she went to her friends house without my mom and dad knowing and scared them so when she came back my dad said do you want your car taken away or a spanking she picked the spanking. lol

thank you the replies have been very helpfull unfortunatly i don't have much advice because i just recently got engagged and i have a step 8 year old and i haven't been around kids much in my life so i don't know what do do with a kid his age. But he ignores me alot too. I do what brandy dose and ignor him back and then when he gets mad i explain that how he's feeling is how he makes me feel when i'm trying to get his attention and he ignores me.
Usually when you put the kid in your shoes it helps. At least so far it has worked with him. After its explained though and it keep happining, then no more video games.

I know it sounds terrible, but it works SO well. My grandma used to do this when I was little. If they ignore you, go up and grab the ear. This gets their attention REAL quick, trust me. Don't pull, just get a firm hold on it. Obviously, they can't hear you, right? OMG, try it just once and see how well it works! My daughter is esp. gifted at the ignoring thing. When she sees me coming, she puts her hands on her ears and says "OK, I'm listening, what did you say?" lol.

Love it vacationbaby! Lol. I need only put my hand out and say these four words, "bring me your DS". Or four other words, "no more computer today". Hit them where it hurts, take away the thing they love dearest. Mean but effective.